My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

I do not understand where all of this new whiz-bang fandangled "triple bottom line" (environmental, econimical, and social) talk is coming from. It is essentially getting back to what government is all about. Sure the original democracy was run by the aristocrats back in the good old days of Greece when Solon did all of his reforms - but quickly it became a rule for the people by the people. The council was voted on by the commoners and they were the jury who oversaw most of the trials. So in effect - they were taking into consideration the will and well being of the people.

Bang into the here and now and we're talking a representative democracy that at least half the world seems to have - and what is the role of a representative democracy? To look after the well being of everyone!

Pareto back in the late 1800's came up with his communist economic theories about optimising solutions so that they were the best solution in one aspect that did not adversely affect any other aspect - essentially coming up wiht a compromise that was the best for the well being of everyone.

Democracy, pareto optimisation, communism, it's all been done before. Governments working for the greater well being of everyone - that's meant to fucking well be what governing is about - if not that than what?

Whichever consultant came up with triple bottom line based on pre-BC dogmas, decided to throw in some communism and call it "new" must be making a killing. The amount they charge for the courses to regurgitate the same apathetic crap again and again is rediculous.

The scary thing is sitting there in a course with senior management implying that the entire concept is a waste of time - if they're not there to help the people - what are they there for? What are they there for?

3: "where does this put me?"
3: "what does she think about it? does she miss you too? is she getting married because she thinks he's the one, or is she settling because you're no longer available?"
3: "you'll see each other again"
3: "do you wish she was marrying you?"
3: "ok... did you get any closure on the subject? did she give reasons for her decision? did she say she wishes you were still together? did you?"
1: "that was our conversation in full..."
3: "i just want to know what was said, if you want to show me"
1: "...she said mention of my name in her house is forbidden"
3: "does she live with him?"
3: "did you tell her we talk about her alot?"
1: "yeah - they just bought a house together"
3: "how does taht make you feel?"
3: "do you wish she was marrying you?"
1: "I can't answer that...i can say that if she asked me to marry her i'd have ran away"
3: "i can tell you that your feelings are completely normal... i think any normal person would be upset like this to this news, and unfortunately it almost always happens to everyone at some point"
1: "i think it is obvious i am not over her - but at the same time - i have to be over her - i don't know her anymore and haven't really known her for a long time...all i remember are the memories and the good times...that's all i have...and they were all yrs ago...not now...not here...not now...memories... there is no here and now there's only memories...and i know that i cannot live in the past and i know, like i previously said, that if she had asked me to marry her i'd have said no and ran away....which, essentially, was what i did do...i ran away...and if all is said and done and i was with her now i'd do the same thing..."

1:"i feel like it ends any chance we ever had"
1:"it ends our relationship...where as before it was just paused"
2:"ah."
2:"do u miss me?"
1:"yeah"
2:"i miss u too"
2:"do you think we'll ever see each other again?"
1:"i don't know...and that's part of what upsets me i guess"
1:"everything has changed"
2:"why? because you view me as taken now and not before?"
1:"i don't know...it just makes me feel like you're a different you than the one i knew...the one i knew wouldn't go off and marry some other guy"

And Death Shall Have No Dominion - Dylan Thomas

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Who in the fuck is Morris Iemma? And how in the hell does he think he can succeed from a charismatic leader like Bob Carr and manage to lead the labour party into the next election and win? I think he's got a huge uphill battle ahead of him - if John Brogden was anything but a whinging school boy it would be an interesting war.

Associated press:

Amish Teen Charged With Stealing Numbers

HUNTSBURG, Ohio - Callers complaining about loud music coming from a buggy led deputies to charge a 19-year-old Amish man with stealing house numbers and flower pots. David Byler was charged with theft and underage consumption of alcohol, both misdemeanors.

Callers to the Geauga County sheriff's office told dispatchers early Sunday about a buggy playing loud music and stealing items from outside houses in a rural area of northeast Ohio.

"When our officer caught up with him in the middle of the road, there were flower pots and house numbers in the buggy," sheriff's spokesman John Hiscox said.

I think super hot gym chick number one (1) was a mirage. I may have to cross her off the list.

It's not meant to turn out this way - don't ask me how it is meant to turn out - all I know is it's not meant to turn out this way.

1. Telling my new boss I had an easy first week with almost nothing to do was a big big mistake.

2. I made fish for my boss and his wife over the weekend, and to my surprise he actually liked it and was telling everyone at work what a feast I cooked up. The recipe:

flathead
garlic
ginger
lemon juice + zest
lime juice + zest
honey
soy
onion
chili
olive oil

Nothing spectacular - but it tasted good and that's all that matters. I sort of got the idea loosely from cookingforengineers.com - I told RIH that it's my favourite cooking site on the internet - the fact that it's the only cooking site I actually know exists on the net is not the point.

3. R.I.P all of the fallen victims who were running late for a train and got shot to death by the British police.

4. Reporter:: "Do any Australian forces have the power to shoot to kill before asking any questions?"

John Howard, Australian Prime Minister: "They have the power to use whatever force is necessary"

Reporter:: "So you are saying that they have the power to shoot to kill before asking any questions?"

John Howard, Australian Prime Minister: "They have the power to use whatever force is necessary"

5. Chicken is a nice meat to eat for dinner.

6. I was told that there's coffee machines and coffee machines. I've often wondered the difference between a $90 machine and a $2000 machine - apparently there is only subtle differences, but differences none the less. The more expensive machines have a pump and cooking element where as the cheaper ones rely on gravity and a standard jug coil. In the end is it all worth it?

7. Microsoft Longhorn is now called Windows Vista - it sounds gay - not that there's anything wrong with being gay or anything.

8. Tonight was the first time I've been to the gym since I started my new job last week. I'm feeling good now. Tomorrow will be the test. I felt worn out last week - the traveling took it out of me. Hopefully I will adjust.

9. Frozen yoghurt is great. Dessert of kings!

10. My watch that has been with me since I was 18 has kicked the bucket. $175 to fix it. I may as well get a new watch - now the question is - do I go for a cool looking watch for $200 or go for a quality watch for $500? Quality never goes out of fashion of course, but those Fossil watches look so cool and appealing. Decisions, decisions.

My new job is going ok so far. My first day I did basically nothing.

Me: "What do i do exactly?"
Boss: "Nothing. You do nothing. Now what was I doing?"
Me: "You look like you're doing your triple bottom line presentation"
Boss: "yeah. That's what I'm doing"
Me: "And I do???"
Boss: "Nothing. You do nothing."

*Boss walks off to do his presentation while I try and find something to do*

How funny is this:

DEAR ABBY: My name is "Johnny." I am 18 and currently incarcerated. I was locked up last March and won't be out for another five months. I'm facing a terrible problem when I get out and I need your help.

I have a girlfriend, "Brianna," who I love with all my heart and will do anything for. We have been together since I was 14. She has been with me through everything. She's now pregnant with my baby. Her cousin and her best friend are also pregnant. They all know each other is pregnant, but the cousin and friend haven't told Brianna that I'm the father. She has been asking questions, but they tell her they're "not sure." They insist that it's my place to tell her.

My mother secretly pays for each of the girls' doctor visits and everything they need, but she says she can't keep sneaking around doing this.

It's killing me knowing I'll have to hurt my girlfriend. I don't want her to leave me because I love her, and she has both of my cars, my motorcycle and the house I bought. I'm afraid she will destroy them when she finds out. I'm so worried I can't sleep. Please tell me what to do. -- JOHNNY-IN-A-SPOT

It sounds like the only thing worrying the guy is that his girlfriend owns all of his stuff!

Hot Gym Chick number one (1) went to England and was replaced by Hot Gym Chick number two (2) and then came Hot Gym Chick number three (3). There was this old lady, 80 yrs old or so, who was going around with a walker - she became Inspirational Gym Old Lady number one (1) - if I'm still going to the gym when I can't even walk unaided it'll be a miracle that's for sure.

Today - there was Super Hot Gym Chick number one (1) - she was great! Like baywatch-I-am-made-of-plastic-and-am-the-best-money-can-buy hot! She was jogging on one of the four (4) treadmills in the gym and there was a line-up to get next to her! Which was funny because the fourth (4th) treadmill was empty....ah she's made my day.

Some random mumblings....


1. I'm sitting here shivering my arse off tapping my leg in an almost epileptic fit type fashion as the pins and needles in it send me crazy!

2. I don't know what went wrong tonight - I have been eating like anything! i ate a steak followed by almost an entire broccoli clump thing (bunch?) an entire packet of pappadums, 2 litres of frozen yoghurt, and a bowl of rolled oats and I'm sitting here still hungry!

3. There is some strange TV show on SBS talking about webgirls. Each of them there claiming that their website is more than just a camera on a girl doing nothing...it is art. That always seems to be the way they explain the strange in art circles. Something is not strange or obscure or unique or different or weird - it's artistic. It is not a boring movie with little point, some softcore porn scenes, and shot in black and white - it's an art-house movie.

4. Tonight is the night I decided I'd join the BitTorrent bandwagon - most likely two (2) years too late. They've already been named in legal action. It says the thing I'm downloading, pearl jam live - but of course, is from an "authorised artist" or something along those lines implying it's a legit free copy of the live concert. But if it's all legit - why are they being sued? The only thing I don't understand is how the hell I do something with the file once it gets here, in two (2) days at the current rate, the file type is some weird hippy bittorrent thing.

5. England has been bombed. I thought it was ironic that I rang up CRM to wake her up to inform her of this the same she did for me when September 11 happened a few years back. I'm not sure she was awake enough to understand, what I thought, was funny - not the bombing, just the situation of it all. The English are actually quite understanding of it all and almost unphased. It really is business as usual. They keep saying that they're used to being bombed by the IRA and other terrorists. They keep comparing it to the war and saying how that's nothing compared to what they've seen - and the more I think about it the more I know they're right. It reminded me of what was shocking about September 11 - it wasn't the size of it - it was the fact it happened on American soil and wasn't an American that did it. Usually all the bombings are carried out by local nutters - but not that time. It sort of brought them down to the level of other countries and exposed their weaknesses. England in stark contrast was like a well oiled machine - almost too well oil. It is, one might say, like when they said that were expecting it that they were actually expecting it.

6. Apparently they're chasing down some nutter who claimed on the internet that he was responsible for the bombings - well have i got a scoop for you all, all ummm one (1) of you reading this, including myself, I shot JFK!

7. My road safety audit report has come back with comments which are loosely along the lines of (of course insert proper words in a formal client-consultant way for the following rather than my crass interpretation of the events):

THEM: "the traffic data we gave you at the inception meeting isn't for the road you're doing the report on"
ME: "well why did you give me the data to begin with and tell me it was?"
THEM: "your data looks dodgy for the weather and climate!"
ME: "it's from your damn government website!"
THEM: "you have the name of the mountain range wrong!"
ME: "it's on your damn government website map!"
THEM: "your report looks impressive but all it really does is compile all of the existing information into one report - you've not told us anything new!"
ME: "that was what you damn well told me to do! compile all of the other reports into the one report, carry out a safety assessment, rank the safety issues, and come up with solutions to them and costings!"
THEM: "your report starts at the one place all the time with the chainages!"
ME: "the brief is written from point a to point b - so my chainages start at point a and go to point b - that's what my report is doing - following my report brief that you told me to do"
THEM: "can you provide a map?"
ME: "I've repeatingly asked all of you guys for a map - and you keep telling me there isnt one. I can't find one. They've not actually mapped your road in a way that I can use it accurately. There is no map of your damn road. Unless you have one - there is no map. If you have one - give it to me! Please! I beg you!"

8. Adam the landscaper is meant to be back in business and will be building a footpath - fun times.

9. The end is nigh.

10. The end is now.

I'm freezing. Decided i'd supplement my dinner with half a bucket of frozen yoghurt...bad idea in the middle of winter :|

I've been a bit off of late. I vomited on Monday night at the gym 3/4 of the way through the PT work out which seems to focus on "making me feel the pump" - I'm perfectly fine the next day with no soreness whatsoever because to me there's no point in feeling the pump - but i digress. Anyway back to the point...I kept my dinner down that night but not my breakfast the next day. I've felt funny all week. I've also been working long hours again. The gym was cut out all of this week after the monday episode until today - the PT session again. Today we focused on "feeling the pump" - suprise suprise. Tomorrow will the real test to see if it worked out- sorry I've digressed again. I've been feeling faint since then even though I've been eating properly. All of these crazy theories keep going around in my head as to what could be wrong with me- but in the end I don't really have any actual symptoms other than I've vomited twice and just been feeling like there's something unusual going on in me.

I'm going to put it down to hypochondria, stress, and a minor case of ebola virus.

i keep burping fish oil. I started taking these fish oil capsules the other day to increase my EFA intake a tad bit more - now I'm burping, and sweating fish oil. I think I'd better cut them back a bit - or use more deodorant.

Shit - sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction:

j rizz
since starting my new bulking diet.. i have been noticing that my shit has become very hard.. is this due to the protein or that im eating clean food and my body is shitting out pure waste.. or is this not normal??
anyone else with this??

thatguy
Drink more water. I had the same reaction and more water fixed the problem.

PreMier
Eat more fiber also..

JLB001
are they floaters or sinkers? Floaters are good. Sinkers are the bad stuff going bye bye

cfs3
"Bad Stuff"?

Witmaster
are they floaters or sinkers? Floaters are good. Sinkers are the bad stuff going bye bye
OK, you just threw me....

Does this mean that "floaters" are good stuff being passed through OR is it Good to have Floaters? :confused:

Sinkers, you stated, are "bad stuff going bye bye" so I conclude the obvious that bad stuff going bye bye is good. I'm no fecal expert so.... enlighten me please :hmmm:

JLB001
Ok...when you eat junk food you get sinkers, when you eat clean you have floaters.

Paynne
It's amazing how much one can learn on a forum. :p

j rizz
lol

guitar_man04
Thats odd. I agree with paynne. Never heard it but I am willing to buy it.

thatguy
I second that. :thumb:

PreMier
Its because of the fiber.. The more fiber you get, the better, and it will lower the density, making it 'float'.

Curlingcadys
were certainly not here to leave ANYTHING in the dark are we?!:laugh:

oddly enough I learned somthing..:thumb:

Cold Iron
You know you're hardcore when you check out your shit to see if it floats..

Metalman777
Greens, greens,greens + lots of water +fiber... and you'll be all set..

jaim91
I heard that there was a certain way to rub your stomach in order to stimulate yoru bowels. Is this an urban legend??

crazy_enough
I heard that there was a certain way to rub your stomach in order to stimulate yoru bowels. Is this an urban legend??
Its prolly true...If you can stimulate or accelerate the birth of a child thru belly massages during labor, I bet you can do the same with...well, bowels....While I hate to compare children to doodoo.....:rolleyes:

Pylon
While I hate to compare children to doodoo.....:rolleyes:
You've clearly never met the kids running around in my neighborhood...

crazy_enough
You've clearly never met the kids running around in my neighborhood...
LOLOLOL:laugh:

mikeruurds
I'd better ask for a little "extra attention" the next time I go for a Swedish full body massage! :thumb:

bracewater
add a cucumber to your diet everyday.


like clockwork:thumb:

BigDyl
What if it does the backstroke while saying "Hidey Ho! Is that good or bad?

thatguy
Definitely good. That means you have "happy poop."

Witmaster
What if it does the backstroke while saying "Hidey Ho! Is that good or bad?
Well, it probably means you ate the wrong kind of mushrooms in your salad that day. Whether it is good or bad is entirely up to you :grin:

j rizz
AHAHAHAAHA!!!!
i knew my the shrooms on my salad were tasting a little bit like styrofoam

DemolitionNine
ROFL ... this's too damned funny....

j rizz
well.. what if ur turds are to long and half of it sinks and the other half comes out of the water onto the bowl...??? then what?
should i cut it in half into 2 perfectly simetrical turds of equal diameter and weight them using the method of water displacement???

crazy_enough
well.. what if ur turds are to long and half of it sinks and the other half comes out of the water onto the bowl...??? then what?
should i cut it in half into 2 perfectly simetrical turds of equal diameter and weight them using the method of water displacement???
Oh Gosh....I don't think that you should even be considering any "turd" manipulation !!!!:barf:

I was told that a healthy person should technicaly dump about 12 inches worth of solid humm.....waste, twice a day. 12 inches!!!!!! Thats soundz like a whole lotta doodoo...

largepkg
well.. what if ur turds are to long and half of it sinks and the other half comes out of the water onto the bowl...??? then what?
should i cut it in half into 2 perfectly simetrical turds of equal diameter and weight them using the method of water displacement???


Where is Dale when you need him? He would be the expert of fecal weight.

Witmaster
well.. what if ur turds are to long and half of it sinks and the other half comes out of the water onto the bowl...??? then what?
should i cut it in half into 2 perfectly simetrical turds of equal diameter and weight them using the method of water displacement???I'm thinking you need a hobbie :rolleyes:

min0 lee
Ok...when you eat junk food you get sinkers, when you eat clean you have floaters.


She really knows her shit.

JLB001
She really knows her shit.
Mino....do you see???? I see. :thumb:

JLB001
She really knows her shit.
Mino....do you see???? I see. :thumb:

JLB001
She really knows her shit.
Mino....do you see???? I see. :thumb:

min0 lee
Mino....do you see???? I see. :thumb:
http://img65.exs.cx/img65/9903/yes6hk.gif

min0 lee
Mino....do you see???? I see. :thumb:
http://img21.exs.cx/img21/3415/nod3ik.gif

min0 lee
Mino....do you see???? I see. :thumb:
http://img65.exs.cx/img65/5298/yes17jg.gif
Dale Mabry
To take a line from Johnny Cash and Nine Inch Nails...

I hurt myself today. :D

scooterbilly
this is my first time on this forum--I'm scared sh1tless

crazy_enough
this is my first time on this forum--I'm scared sh1tless
Welcome! This place is the shit!:rocker:

BoneCrusher
Whats bad is when your turds are all hard and have no taper at the end ...

onamission
Yeah ^^that aint no shit..

Exordus
Since I've started my bulking diet, mine have turned the color of all the damn veggies I'm eating....and they don't float! I was never a veggie eater. Maybe the color is normal.

BigDyl
Since I've started my bulking diet, mine have turned the color of all the damn veggies I'm eating....and they don't float! I was never a veggie eater. Maybe the color is normal.


I'm sorry to say... you have the hanta virus.

j rizz
hanta virus??!! i heard thats ome of the shittiest virus's to have.. i shit you not.

Exordus
I'm sorry to say... you have the hanta virus.Jesus Christ you scared the hell outta me there for a minute. I looked up the virus and the first thing I saw was a freakin mouse on the website! I have a boa that I feed mice to all the time!!

Good thing there isn't anything in the symptoms that applies to green shit.