My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

It's official - my body fat content is 9.1% puting me in the excellent range as shown in the table below (http://www.new-fitness.com/body_fat_measuring.html):

MALE
Age- Excellent- Good- Fair- Poor-
19-24- 10.8 %- 14.9 %- 19.0 %- 23.3 %-
25-29- 12.8 %- 16.5 %- 20.3 %- 24.4 %-
30-34- 14.5 %- 18.0 %- 21.5 %- 25.2 %-
35-39- 16.1 %- 19.4 %- 22.6 %- 26.1 %-
40-44- 17.5 %- 20.5 %- 23.6 %- 26.9 %-
45-49- 18.6 %- 21.5 %- 24.5 %- 27.6 %-
50-54- 19.8 %- 22.7 %- 25.6 %- 28.7 %-
55-59- 20.2 %- 23.2 %- 26.2 %- 29.3 %
60 + - 20.3 %- 23.5 %- 26.7 %- 29.8 %-

Or another table (http://www.annecollins.com/lose_weight/body-fat-percent.htm)

Classification- Women (% Fat)- Men (% Fat)-
Essential Fat- 10-12 percent- 2-4 percent-
Athletes- 14-20 percent- 6-13 percent-
Fitness- 21-24 percent- 14-17 percent-
Acceptable- 25-31 percent- 18-25 percent-

I can lose fat off my love handles and my back, if anywhere.

p.s the pinch test hurts.
p.p.s the pinch test is stupid - it's just as easy to pinch yourself and forget all about doing it properly.

(yes I know this makes you right on the NPD and I know that saying that I know that it makes you right is making you right and I know that you would be expecting me to do this and I know that by saying that you know that you would be expecting me to do this it gets back to point one)

I got a "free diet" worked out for me on the net...it says that my target weight is overweight and my current weight is overweight so i should seriously consider changing my goals to establish a healthier me :|

I don't know how the hell I can fit into the overweight category - there's hardly any fat on me!

(or maybe there is and I don't want to admit it?)

I'd like to know how the hell everyone suddenly decided to start emailing me those herbal penis enlargment adverts - who's been spreading vicious lies? lies I tell you! Lies!

Walking is good for the soul i've decided...i feel tired, sweaty, and hot right now and my head is throbbing....but i'd almost forgotten about how shit my day was until i started typing this sentence which immediately reminded me.

Another day of being told: "this isn't how we do things" today ended up with my boss thinking I'm an idiot, and perhaps I may well be with some things, such as house slabs, because I've not really done much with concrete house-slab designs since my thesis two and a half years ago, but a plan that has connections that have to be embedded a minimum of 180 mm into a slab of 100 mm doesn't seem to add up no matter which way I look at it. The bosses reply of: "he's an experienced builder and he probably won't use the plans with the bracing details" didn't help my confidence.

Is it strange to live on the coast and yet never go to the beach? And is it even stranger to know that even though you live on the coast and never go to the beach that you also know that you could not live inland?

I went out to get some breakfast this morning from: "The Coffee Club" one of those snazzy looking up-market type chain-cafes. The food was over priced. The coffee tasted terrible. Normally those type of places at least have a "cool" look about them so that if nothing else pleases you, for some deeply routed psychological reason or another, still get the pleasure of looking cool while eating. This place doesn't have any element of note to it.

As I left said establishment across the road was the exact same thing i ordered for almost $3 cheaper. Damn I hate it when that happens. It probably tasted better as well - because god, myself, and my toilet bowl know that it could not taste much worse.

"These switches must be left on at all times"

Regardless of whether it is written as the obligatory (shall) or as the suggestion (must/should)- why in the hell do the switches exist in the first place?

After editing this it seemed obvious that when airbrushing her they had taken away half of her hair and shoulders.

www.abc.net.au/news:

"In military terms, there's a clear distinction between interrogation and debriefing or interviewing one," Senator Hill said.

"One is a voluntary act and one is under a certain amount of duress."

On ABC TV's Four Corners program last night, Mr Barton said: "An interview is between equals, and someone was brought to me in an orange jumpsuit with a guard with a gun standing behind him.

"All right, you can call it what you wish but I think it's misleading. I believe it was an interrogation.

"The Iraqis regarded it as interrogation ... the Americans I think regarded it as interrogation. It wasn't just a simple interview."

He added: "I think it's misleading to say that no Australians [were] involved. I was involved."

You say tomato - I say tomato. You say potato - I say potato. Interrogation, interview, truth, lie, misleading, leading....it's all the same.

Something bizarre is going on. Every week at my new flat the bins get put out and the garbage gets taken away on a certain night - tomorrow night. Every week on the same night. BUT not this week. For some reason the bins are out tonight. For some reason every person in the street has their bins out on the wrong night. What do they know that I don't? I still live in the same place. That hasn't changed. Why has the day the bins go out changed? :S

?

I speak of being dooced and worrying about it - then I go onto criticise my boss. Maybe I have a death wish?




--------

In the event that my boss does ever read this. I honestly think you're an ok person and moderate at managing the day-to-day. You have a good business sense generally, however, are slow to respond to changing trends causing you to be reactive rather than proactive. All-in-all I think your most oustanding quality is that you are a shrewd businessman. Your biggest downfall is you have not kept up with any training - this will also become an issue with your staff.

Technically you are limited but in your defense you know your limitations well and do not go outside of them without asking for help. This generally goes back to not keeping up training and developement.

With all of these people getting dooced (see also) lately it seems that there has been a bit of a pandemic, or the press has created a pandemic at the very least.

I've been trying to read through all of my previous posts doing searches to work out whether or not I've said anything: incriminating; against company policy; or even giving away too much information. There is but a handful of posts that mention a little too much information which I've not changed - but as far as sackable offenses - who the hell really knows?

My company only just decided to get an internet policy after my boss paid an expert business analyst for advice on how to enhance the business. The business analyst basically said to do a SWOT (Strengths-Weaknesses-Opportunities-Threats) analysis and come up with a communication policy for phones and internet.

The SWOT that we went through sort of misses the major components of an engineering business - something that didn't seem to matter much to my boss. Making things worse is the fact that half of what was written in the SWOT we are not qualified to carry out - again something that my boss didn't seem to mind.

The communication policy was rather well meaning but loosely worded and not formalised. Most of our company "policies" and "procedures" are either not kept on record or kept on record but records of where they're kept on record are not known. That is to say - my boss is the only person in my company that realises we have any procedures. He often brings it up that - "this is the way we do things in our company..." which is all fine and dandy - but if only he does things that way, the company has more than one employee in it, then, it is not the way "we" do things in the company.

A quality management system would not go astray. Infact a quality management system for a small company would be easy to manage and a godsend. My boss? He doesn't believe in quality management systems and think they're a cream of the month type of thing and will be forgotten about. He doesn't realise that the reason they're not brought up as much anymore is because most companies have them so it is presumed that you have one.

Quality management would be a much better investment than a colour consultant - yes - that is our next business "consultant" to turn up. The colour consultant has suggested colours in the interim that are exactly the same as every other building in this town - they must have consulted everyone! :)

The irony is that while sitting here watching the Iron Chef - I've managed to burn my own dinner :|

I realised before that walking around naked in my new flat was getting a lot of pubic hair everywhere in a disgusting type of way. After vacuuming today I realised how bad the problem really is. Half of the vacuum cleaner was just pubic hair - between the pubic hair and the cockroach carcuses there was hardly any room left for the rubbish that I couldn't be bothered bending over to actually pick up.

Although my flat looks reasonably clean and tidy - it's a cest pool of filth! A cest pool of filth I tell you! It's like that nice restaurant around the corner - might have tasty food, but go back behind the counter and you find out they're serving choko instead of apple, tripe instead of chicken, and dog instead of beef all topped off with last weeks vegetables!

Some Tsunami Aid Useless for Damaged AreasBy SHIMALI SENANAYAKE, Associated Press Writer

In a country where most people wear flip-flops or sandals, some boxes held only used shoes, including soccer cleats, boots and silver evening shoes with 4-inch heels.

An embarrassed Fernando said the black-and-pink thong underwear will not be offered to refugees. Nor would a spaghetti-strap, sequin-studded black evening dress. Still, she said, nothing will be thrown away. Warm clothing may be sent to shelters or to tea plantation workers in the hills, where the climate is cooler.

Among the most unlikely supplies sent in were six packs of Viagra from Australia, said Gandhi Saundararajan of the Tamil Rehabilitation Organization.

"We were quite nonplussed," he said.

Good ol' Australia - always thinking with it's dick.

On another point, as I sit here full of caffeinated energy, what in the hell is it with those Bebo emails everyone keeps sending? Is it even a legit service? To me it seems like a virus or a chain letter. Everyone sends it to you. You have to "join up" to "update" your contact information. It then sends something to everyone in your contact list. They then have to "join up" to "update" their contact information...does the chain ever end? Is there any purposes? Do these people even know who the hell i am? Do they even want to know who i am? Does Bebo actually offer a legitimate service that is within the realms of legality in accordance wiht hte new anti-spam laws? Is Bebo an actual company or is it some type of sick joke the rest of the world is playing on me in some crazy attempt to make me sit here and type up convaluded messages while high on caffeine after a late night coffee?

"North Korea - announced for the first time that it has nuclear arms and rejected moves to restart disarmament talks anytime soon, saying it needs the weapons as protection against an increasingly hostile United States." (Associated Press)

Hey - we have another arms race. History repeats. I love a good arms race and the smell of nuclear fallout - it really clears the nasal passage.

What in the hell is it with Chingy? He's such a Nelly-wanna-be-poser...the only thing I don't understand is why in the hell anyone would want to be a Nelly-wanna-be-poser. Don't get me wrong - i mean be a popstar for all it's worth. May as well milk it for the two (2) years that you can get away with it for. But don't take yourself seriously. That's what separates the good "pop stars" from the bad ones. The good ones realise they're full of shit and someone elses puppet. The bad ones either play up to the part or pretend there is no part.

Today I went road-tripping looking at all of the drainage issues in Laurieton. There's a few of them:

-A man who actually protested that he should not have to build his brand new house up so that it would be constructed to the correct flood height because his neighbour was not built up to the same level. His place now floods, of course, and so does his neighbours.

-The hardest thing today was trying to explain to a lamen that a report that says:

"The obstructions in the waterway do not constitute a major disruption to the waterway area, as such, they do not need to be removed.....(insert a bunch more writing)...WITH THE ADDITION OF 600 MM OF FREEBOARD THE EASEMENT WILL BE SUFFICIENT TO CONVEY THE DESIGN STORM EVENT"

Actually means: "your thing does not comply unless you add 600 mm onto the top of it"

They stopped at the first sentence which said it's all hunky dory and never made it to the disclaimer/clarification/main explanatory part of the report.

-Then there was the explanation where I had to try to explain that the "wetland retention basin" is actually meant to have plantings and water in it to help stop pollutant run-off from the subdivision.

-It was almost as bad as the person who I had to tell that they aren't obligated to actually mow the "lawn" of the forest next to them!

How long have you had a blog?

I started this one on Saturday, May 31, 2003. I had another blog before hand which led to a hell of a lot of confusion. I never actually wrote in the other one, I joined up when the whole www.blogger.com thing started so I could save my name incase I ever wanted to actually write a blog in the future. The first time I edited the format of this one I accidently logged into the other one and changed all of the format in it. So there I was with the format changed in a blog that had no content and the content in one that had little format - I blame Chloe.

Why did you become interested in blogging?

It is far easier than any other option for updating a website. All of my other websites I have dabbled with have either been one of the following:

a) very well planned and poorly executed;
b) almost static content; and/or
c) never finished content; and/or
d) repetitive; and/or
e) almost like preaching and/or bitching about some sort of rhetoric or another

I figured I may as well start up a blog and cover all of the above aspects in the one site!

What do you write about more : yourself or _insert subject here_?

Insignificant news items that I have read from time to time, anti-mainstream rhetoric, or bitching about myself.

If your blog has categories, which one do you post in most often?
N/A

Five of your favorite blogs :
Chloe's and occasionally Lyndals and Michelle's are about the only ones I read. If I read more others I might actually start formulating coherent sentences in an attempt to better them.

Do you use an online alias on your blog?
No need. It has my email address and all about me.

Blog entry that has received the most comments :
Either my complaining about public companies becoming private or the entry on my penis size.

Tell us how you chose your blog title :
Based on a combination of the communist manifesto and the diary of a madman.

How do you feel about Google ads on personal blogs?

We can't escape advertising no matter how hard we try - so why not embrace it? Adam endorses Adidas, Skechers, and the Madonna Peace Lily plant sitting in my room. (does anyone else notice the irony in this question?)

Does anyone you know in *real life* know about your blog?

Mmmhmmm.

Words you use all the time in your posts :
Dodgy, arrogant, hypocrite, america, and understand.

Is it just me? Or are they holding up the pope weekend-at-bernie's style?

Ok it's not just me..they just said it on the glasshouse...it must be official :P

Great minds may not think alike - but dodgy ones like mine and Liz's do apparently. Damn coincidence to hell.

Thanks Adam. No problem. I didn't mean to make it a big deal. It's OK.
(insert bosses name)

Ah bosses - everytime you think you understand what they mean because they have made it quite clear and they seem to be speaking the same language - suddenly they change their minds.

My PE (physical education) teacher in primary school was an arrogant know-it-all who liked to pick on people who were not good at sport. He was also a hypocrite in that he taught us not to smoke and take drugs while he himself did. I always thought he was an arsehole and he thought I was a prick. NOW I find myself being harassed professionally by his son. His son is more incompetent than his father. At least the father had the intelligence to realise that teaching primary school PE should be the pinnacle of his career - the son on the other hand is the head of the Building and Environment Section of Council a position he is not qualified for nor competant to do.

Common things he says are:

"Water coming over the road isn't considered overland flow" - if the road is not part of the land - then what is it part of?

"The building inspectors don't have to check to see if the buildings comply with the Building Code of Australia - the development engineers should be checking for that" - if the building inspectors aren't enforcing the Building Code - then what the hell are they enforcing?

"I don't understand why you keep referring to the Australian Standards like people are meant to follow them" - if people aren't meant to follow the Australian Standards - why do they exist?

"How come you keep saying that the on-site stormwater systems have to be able to cater for the stormwater that flows onto the property?" - if the stormwater systems don't cater for this flow - then what does? Nothing you fool! Nothing! And therein lies the problem.

LONDON (AFP)

- When six-month-old Jack Russell puppy Toby, startled by a gunshot, leapt off a 70-foot (21-metre) cliff and into a busy shipping lane, his owners presumed it was the last they would see of their beloved pet.

But Toby was made of stronger stuff.

In exploits recounted by a series of newspapers on Thursday, the white-and-tan terrier puppy survived the sheer drop and plunged into Plymouth Sound, a famously busy waterway off the southwest coast.

Undeterred by boat traffic in the estuary, regularly used by warships, submarines and ferries, Toby paddled a mile (1.6 kilometres) across the bay, where a Ministry of Defence boat crew, alerted to his plight, found him perched shivering on a rock.

Wrapped in a blanket, the unharmed dog was returned to his astonished owners, David and Sandra Lee.

"We honestly thought we'd lost him," Mr Lee was quoted as saying in the Daily Mail newspaper. "It's a true miracle he's still with us."

Toby leapt over a wall on the edge of the cliff top when he was startled by a gunshot from a nearby army barracks, Lee added.

"He must have thought it was just a wall, without knowing there was a sheer drop of 70 foot on the other side."

Have you ever had one of those weeks when things just don't seem worth it anymore? A mid life crisis? I'm too young for that - or am I?. Back in the day people would have one job almost their entire lives - the midlife crisis would happen towards the end of it. We have been brainwashed into thinking we will have to retrain entirely for not only multiple jobs - but at least three different careers during our lifetime. Am I going through the three year crisis? Will I go through this crisis every three years?

In one-week my boss has gone from:
Boss: "Please see email from (insert client name) below.
It's so nice to get an unsolicited compliment like this that shows you are not only doing a good job at (insert place), but also enhancing our company's reputation.
I suspect that I don't often enough take the time to express my appreciation to you - and this is just due to us all being busy. But I do appreciate the work you are doing, the way you are doing it and the effort you put into helping our company grow and prosper."

Client: "On another note, I don't know if I have mentioned this before. From my dealings with Adam, he has demonstrated a very professional & competent approach to the projects he is working on. I have been impressed, he would be a good assett to your organisation."

to this:

Boss: "I noticed a problem with your profit sharing form"
Me: "It is good to see you're looking out for me"
Boss: "I always have to check over your work - I never check over anybody elses"
Me: *smiling from ear-to-ear uncontrollably while thinking to myself: "you sign off every plan saying you've checked over it - but knowing that you haven't explains why I have to check over their plans with a fine toothed comb in the position that I am in at the (insert client here) before handing them over to my direct superior there"*
nb: the fault was in an invoice that was never sent because it wasn't entered into my records as my boss said he would do it for me because I was not in the office that day.

My boss thinks I'm a trouble maker because I talk about things like: laws, legal obligations, standards, codes of practice, recommended codes of practice, guidelines, best management practice, acts of parliment, quality assurance, occupational health and safety, regulations, et. Al. The trouble is is that it is these things that the clients like to hear. I just hope my boss realises this before it is too late.

I want to become CPENG. I want to do more management practice and more design practice to satisfy myself I am ready. I want to do more study. I want to do some environmental study, some management study, and some traffic engineering study. I want to do some drainage study. I want to do some more bridge designing.

This is going to be a busy year for me - this year may make or break me. Damn three year crisis to hell.

Stressed Out - A Tribe Called Quest

I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out
When you're face to face with your adversity
I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out
We're gonna make this thing work out eventually

Yo I ain't one to complain but there's things in the game
(What's your name?) Consequence, I'm tight, burnt like flames
(And why's that?) American dreams, they got this ghetto kid in a fiend

Don't stress that cause it's not in your bloodstream
Your whole being, comes from greatness, d'you remember
Shatan got you caught in the storms of December
And brothers on the block packin nines like September
Crazy situations keeps pockets on slender

Yo I be on the avenue where they be actin brand new
I'm splurgin on these Reebok joints for shorty boo

All of a sudden, I saw these two kids frontin
Talkin out they joints but they wasn't sayin nuttin
My hand was on my toolie they was actin unruly
(Say word) Yo word up, yo I was tight caught up
But I swallowed my pride and let that nonsense ride
Because I'm positive it seems that negative dies

Yo we was at the dice game makin these cats look silly
Flamin, steady runnin off at the Willie

I had my cash mixed, my rent due, with my play-dough
I gotta see some loot so all my girls I blow
Shook them shits in my palm let em hit the flo'
Kept my eyeballs scopin for them pigs po-po
I got to go on the ave see my parole by fo'
But I gotta steady freak these boys like JoJo

And I was doin it, til I met Ike, Spike, and Mike
One roll, they had my pockets thirstier than Sprite

Yo I know the feelin, when you feelin like a villain
You be havin good thoughts but the evils be revealin
and the stresses of life can take you off the right path (no doubt)
Jealousy and envy tends to infiltrate your staff
We gotta hold it down so we can move on past
all adversities, so we can get through fast, like that

I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out
When you're face to face with your adversity
I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out
We're gonna make this thing work out eventually

You got the N.W.O. (low cash flow)
Your baby's on the way (and you don't know who)
And crosstown niggaz tryin to (bust at you)
Aiyyo they got me stressed out (and you don't know what to do)
So frame this Kodak black, and vision to my contact
with a poultry scrap, workers get pistol smacked
The switch hittin Queens, niggaz liquid sword spittin
with raw poppy, and now your first love is krill
Your vision of the mil got crept like Hey Lover
Tried to rise to the top, you just couldn't recover
And all I want is my laceration of the pie
to get this whip cream before the water runs dry
Niggaz flashdancin yo I don't know why
You're sick of snitchin, she got you cruisin to the pokey
like Smokey, the stress be tryin to squeeze out a homey
While I be tryin to get star status like Shinobi
So we can build a dynasty, just like the Toby's
And all I want, is the world to know my steez
These money hungry niggaz is seven thirty
And got me stressed out like these frog MC's

I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out
When you're face to face with your adversity
I really know how it feels to be, stressed out, stressed out
We're gonna make this thing work out eventually

Don't worry we gon make it (gonna make it)
Don't worry we gon make it (oh yeah)
Don't worry we gon make it (gonna make it)
We gon make it (gotta make it)
Don't worry we gon make it (gotta make it)
We're gonna make it (we gotta make it)
Don't worry we gon make it (we gonna make it)
We gonna make it (ohhhhhhh)
Don't worry we gon make it (ohhhhhhh)
Don't worry we gon make it (gonna make it)
Don't worry we gon make it (ohhhhhhh)
We gon make it (ahaowwhwwww)
Don't worry we gon make it (ahahwwww)
I know we gonna make it (we're gonna make it)
C'mon baby we gon make it (yeahhhh)
We gon make it (yeahhahhahhhh)
Don't worry we gon make it (we're gonna make it)
We've gotta make it (we've gotta make it)
We've gotta make it (oh yeah)
Know we're gonna make it
We're gonna make it, gonna make it, we gotta make it, know we gonna make it...

A scene from "A Few Good Structural Engineers"



Engineer: ( Jack Nicholson ): You want answers?


Architect: (Tom Cruise): I think I'm entitled to them.


Engineer: You want answers?


Architect: I want the truth!!


Engineer : You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has
FLOORS. And those FLOORS have to be SUPPORTED BY COLUMNS. Who's gonna
DESIGN THEM? You? You, MR. ARCHITECT? I have a greater responsibility
than you can possibly fathom. You weep for LOST FLOOR SPACE and you
curse the COLUMNS. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not
knowing what I know: that THOSE COLUMNS, while tragic, probably saved
lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you,
saves lives...


You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk
about at parties, you want me on that DESIGN TEAM. You need me on that
DESIGN TEAM.


We use words like DESIGN, code, ANALYSIS...we use these words as the
backbone to a life spent SUPPORTING something. You use 'em as a
punchline.


I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my DESIGN to a
man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very STRUCTURES I
provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you
just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick
up a STEEL MANUAL and DESIGN a post. Either way, I don't give a damn
what you think you're entitled to!


Architect : Did you SCHEDULE THE COLUMNS?


Engineer : (quietly) I did the job you HIRED me to do.


Architect : Did you SCHEDULE THE COLUMNS?!!


Engineer : You're goddamn right I did!!

"According to an audio recording of Mattis' remarks, he said, "Actually, it's a lot of fun to fight. You know, it's a hell of a hoot. ... It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right upfront with you, I like brawling."

He added, "You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil," Mattis continued. "You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them.""

I bet that did wonders for US-Foreign relations.

Half of Bankruptcy Due to Medical Bills -- U.S. Study (Reuters)

Half of all U.S. bankruptcies are caused by soaring medical bills and most people sent into debt by illness are middle-class workers with health insurance, researchers said on Wednesday.

Ok - so these people are getting bankrupt "with" health insurance? Is this a typo? Or are the other half of the bankrupt people the ones "without" the health insurance?

"The Australian Army has overstated its capabilities and cannot provide enough bullets or shells to train its soldiers, according to a report by the Commonwealth auditor-general." (abc.net.au)

I wonder how we lost all of our bullets? Wouldn't be anything to do with the budget would it? Hmm I wonder.