My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

I think I ate too much.

"Alec Baldwin has a new show on NBC, James Woods has a new show on CBS and
Mel Gibson has a new show on Al-Jazeera." — Emmys host Conan O'Brien during the opening monologue.

I'm sure you've all heard the story of the drunken person who got ignored and left to fend for themselves only for everyone to find out later that they were actually a diabetic in an almost comatosed state.

There are either a lot of diabetics in Brisbane - or a hell of a lot of drunks. Even the church was kicking them out tonight as i walked by.

I discovered while out in a drunken stupor last night that the "short cut" i was taking to the mall is actually the long way around. They have this pedestrian based walkway which leads right to the city via parklands and avoids all but two road crossings. I do my best exploring when drunk.

Australia is currently playing USA in basketball. The entire commentary consists of: "The USA has been beaten before - so why not Australia? and why not now?" Personally, with a negative attitude like that - I can tell them why the fuck not quick snap if they asked me. Fortunately they didn't.

Iced lime green tea tastes really good when made correctly - it almost drowns the Brisbane pool water that comes out of my taps. Which, in hindsight, is far better than the shite they try to pass off as drinkable water at the parklands cafe.

While on the elevator tonight and trying to not be one of those loud-mouthed wankers who has really loud conversations in public, I accidentally ended up having an almost muted conversation with some random stranger who was responding to what I was saying over the phone. The people in Brisbane seem really nice - even if I'm not actually talking to them.

I need somewhere to park my car in Brisbane. I am willing to pay. Please rent me your car space. PLEASE!

Some Chuck Norris Facts:

-Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris!!!

-Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried because he's a harccore mofo who would kick your arse before you could say "that home gym you conned me into buying sucks"

-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-When Chuck Norris' wife burned the turkey one thanksgiving, Chuck said, "don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris"

-When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised instead.

In Port Macquarie I would go for a run/jog/walk and pick up a stray dog or cat that would follow me for so long and then go home.

In Sydney I would go for a run/jog/walk and pick up a stray backpacker who is trying to push some type of monthly payment onto me so that i can save the world.

NOW in Brisbane when I go for a run/jog/walk I seem to pick up a stray homeless man who seems to want to follow me home.

One can only imagine what type of beast I would pick up in Melbourne or Darwin or Perth or LA or New York or Paris or Auckland.

Fitness First Representative: "What made you decide to join fitness first? Was it our ?"
Me: "Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for you - you are the only gym in town that isn't a one-on-one boutique personal training service"
Fitness First Representative: "Good point - we've actually bought all of the other gyms and incorporated them into our business, or closing them down, helping to make us the largest fitness empire in the world"

Posted by: Adam / 1:30 pm

Volume Phase: 4 weeks
De-loading Period: 1 week
Intensity Phase: 4 weeks

Day 1
Volume Phase : De-load/Intensity Phase
Squats 5x5 : 3x3
Bench 1x5 : 1x3
Rows 1x5 (Bent Over or T-Bar) : 1x3
Dips 3 sets of 8-12 : 3 sets of 8-12

Day 2: OFF

Day 3
Volume Phase : De-load/Intensity Phase
BB Lunges 3 sets of 6-10 : Drop this lift
A1) Military Press 5x5 : 3x3
A2) Lateral Raise 3 sets of 8-12 : 2 sets of 8-12
Wide Pull-Ups 5x5 : 3x5


Day 4: OFF

Day 5
Volume Phase : De-load/Intensity Phase
Bench 5x5 : 3x3
Squat 1x5 : 1x3
Deadlift 5x5 : 3x3
Biceps 3 sets of 8-12 : 3 sets of 8-12

Day 6: OFF

Day 7: OFF

Thanks Pedigree ::Thumbs::

My new life in Brisbane has begun.

Brisbane is a strange city - it's sort of split up into sectors which are based on the university campuses more than anything else. There's all of the slum areas which are being refurbished. There's all of the new yuppie areas - which all have big brand new buildings that are devoid of people. Then there's the rest of the suburbs which are no more than a self sufficient country town that people never need leave - and they usually don't.

The work ethic here is slack at best. I'm meant to be working a 45 hr week, and yet, most people seem to turn up half an hour to an hour late, and leave half an hour to an hour early. The half hour lunch breaks seem to either stretch for almost an hour and in between eating, leaving early, and getting in late - there's the million trips to the cappuccino machine. I can understand allowing coffee or cigarette breaks - but when it's a cappuccino machine and each person takes about 5 or so minutes merely to make the beverage it's taking it a bit far.

I'm in an Alliance which has never happened before. The design, construction, maintenance, and asset owners have all combined forces. No one knows who anyone is, or what they do, it is the type of organisation someone could get lost in and look busy for years with no one being the wiser. With the poor work ethic, the lack of knowledge of the organisations, and the lack of skills - it explains why nothing much is happening. The calm before the storm? I think so.

It's still winter - but people are already complaining about the heat and saying how they're not getting much done due to it. When summer comes around they'll be complaining more about the heat. Heat? HEAT? We're sitting in an airconditioned office that has a thermostat set at 19 degrees Celsius - I sit there almost shivering, face and lips blue, and with goose bumps over my entire upper body.

The past two weeks I've been living in a motel now here I find myself in an apartment building overlooking one of the main train station/bus terminals - Roma Street.

Roma Street Parklands is such an odd setup. It is the huge big apartment complex in the middle of the city, which faces onto a constructed park land, one can only assume this parkland either used to be a toxic waste dump, or a graveyard prior to being a park land. Inside the parklands area it is like utopia: children playing; birds singing; silence or faint music wafting through the trees; smiles on everyone's faces; perfection; with not a care in the world. Outside the parklands area is: the urban decay of Brisbane; train lines; traffic noise; backpacker accommodations; the obligatory homeless person shelter; and random urban filth. It is the yin and the yang. It reminds me of some futuristic world - like Gattica, or the tower city in the fourth installment in George A. Romero's series where the zombies start to think, or even the White tower in the lord of the rings (if I could actually remember whether there was a white tower in the lord of the rings or whether it was some other movie).

The only issues I really have are that: the water tastes like it's come out of a pool; the coffee and food tastes terrible; I cannot find things open when I want them open; I cannot find any decent fruit, vegetables, or meat; and for some reason or another the poached eggs always taste like vinegar - maybe they use a different type of vinegar here than Sydney? I don't know.

Thus far everything here has been crazy - but I like it so far.

Crazy - Gnarls Barkley (ok I have no idea why this is cited as having been written by Gnarls Barkley considering there is no Gnarls Barkley but I'll run with it none the less)

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably

And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control

Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably