My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

Port Macquarie has a dichotomy of people. Port Macquarie is an ugly mix.

Land prices here are very expensive, not as high as Sydney prices but higher than land anywhere else outside of Sydney in NSW, with the exception of a few large cities such as Newcastle and prime real estate in other areas. The only people who can afford to buy land here are retirees from Sydney. Basically what people do is sell their shithole house in Sydney for a few million, buy a block of land here for about 400,000 and put a fantastic house on it for around 300-400,000 and end up with a mansion, a huge block of land, and enough money to live for the rest of their lives - so basically they trade up in house/land/lifestyle from their work-a-holic Sydney days. So we have the really rich retirees who build their separate suburbs so they can dissociate themselves from the rest of the town.

On top of the really rich retirees there are all their surfie bum children who are all unemployed. Some of them live off their rich retired parents and are pretty uppity snobbish; some of them are sent out into the world on their own to fend for themselves; most of them are too rich to get youth allowance so they are usually broke, however, they still try to live to the means of their parents and still act like upper class snobs.

In an ugly stark contrast to the above - there's the locals. The locals born and bred can't afford to buy land or a house because the stupid rich Sydney retiree bastards have pushed land/house prices up so high. The locals are all renting. Rent is expensive. Port Macquarie has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. The lack of skills/training they have puts the locals at a severed disadvantage with the rich Sydney bastards who run the town.

So there we have it: rich Sydney bastards are the "haves"; the locals are the "have-nots"; and the rich Sydney bastards children are either the "haves-don't-have-to work-an-entire-day-in-their-lives-rich-snobs" or the "have-nots-but-still-act-like-rich-snobs". Never make the mistake of thinking a person who surfs and smells like they just crawled out of the sewer is poor. Never make the mistake of crossing a Sydney person who lives in Port Macquarie.

The main reason that people here are unemployed is because they're stupid, very stupid, stuck in the past stupid; very, very, very stupid. They cling onto the idea that Port Macquarie is a holiday destination. Port Macquarie has only just made it into the top 30 tourism destinations in NSW recently – there are hardly any tourist destinations in NSW – and the category Port Macquarie falls into includes Coffs Harbour and Forster – Tamworth alone beats all of those towns put together in tourism and they only have one event a year!

What people do is train in tourist related courses hoping to get a job. Port Macquarie has gotten rid of all of its affordable: motels; caravan parks; and tourist attractions. All that is left is high rise apartments. The thing that is keeping the economy going here is the development. So you have engineers, surveyors, home improvement shops, hardware stores, architects, draftsmen, banks, lawyers, real estate agents, accountants, financial planners, builders and all manner of development related businesses everywhere - the problem is the people aren't trained to do any of these jobs. So again, the rich Sydney bastards come in and take them all, and the silly locals lose out and just get poorer. Of course there's a huge problem that they're going to run into in about a decade or so - development can only go on for so long. Once you develop everything, you can't expand anymore, then there's going to be nothing here for anyone to do and the silly people here are going to still think it's a tourism place even though by this stage they've knocked down all of the motels and replaced them with high-rise apartments but the silly people here haven't learnt thus far? So in 10 years time will they learn? Of course not - they're stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

So there we have it - all about Port from an outsider’s perspective and it's all true - because, quite frankly, I don't give a shit what happens to this town yet, it doesn't really like me, and I don't much like it. I have no reason to cover the lies like the locals do.

Some random thoughts I had for naming a page - I wish death to all who steal them without permission.


1. organised chaos theory 101
2. lessons of chaos
3. the fidelity of copying
4. to distinguish is to know: what is to know?
5. the end is nigh: but to what end?

In 2003, the jjj hottest 100 songs voted for were:

1. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl? (catchy - but hardly best song of the year material)
2. Outkast - Hey Ya! (see previous blog entry for yesterday)
3. White Stripes - Seven Nation Army (why this band has such a huge following is beyond me)
4. Powderfinger - (Baby I’ve Got You) On My Mind (catchy rock song - very led zep)
5. Coldplay - Clocks (Royksopp Remix) (sick to death of hearing this song - makes me want to rip out my ear drums)
6. The Cat Empire - Hello (it's really quite shit - but I like it)
7. Powderfinger - Sunsets (nice song - doesn't deserve to be here though - radio killed it)
8. John Butler Trio - Zebra (JBT can do no wrong - except I do have a live mp3 version of a song and it sounds like JB is a stoned Bob Dylan singing underwater to the point it's almost impossible to understand a damn thing that he's saying)
9. Hilltop Hoods - The Nosebleed Section (so-so)
10. Powderfinger - Love Your Way (don't get me wrong - I think powderfinger are great - but this is hardly the 10th best song of last year!)
11. Something For Kate - Déjà Vu (shit me to tears - when I was at university they seemed to be there every week playing - if for no other reason than they killed whatever live entertainment we could have had had they not been there I hate them)
12. The Waifs - Lighthouse (pretty catchy lil' ditty)
13. Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends
14. White Stripes - The Hardest Button To Button (see above)
15. Butterfingers - I Love Work (ah the novelty will wear off soon enough I hope)
16. Little Birdy - Relapse (okish)
17. Jack Johnson - Taylor (ok in moderation - need you stomach pumped if you have to much - oh wait - that's jack daniels right?)
18. Ben Harper - Diamonds On The Inside (typical ben harper shite)
19. Jet - Roll Over D.J. (see above)
20. Pete Murray - Feeler (okish)
21. Epicure - Armies Against Me (not really sure what this song even is)
22. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded (RHCP are a good band, one might even say a great band, but half of their albums are filler that is the same ol' same ol', that said, it's a nice song, but not a great one)
23. Living End - Who's Gonna Save Us? (great)
24. Jack Johnson - The Horizon Has Been Defeated (much better jack than previous)
25. Little Birdy - Baby Blue (okish)
26. Frenzal Rhomb - Russell Crowe's Band (it's funny because it's true)
27. Ben Folds - There's Always Someone Cooler Than You (see above comment)
28. Electric Six - Danger! High Voltage (fuck me dead)
29. Ben Harper - With My Own Two Hands (fuck me dead)
30. Placebo - The Bitter End (adam's stamp of approval)
31. Muse - Time Is Running Out (good)
32. Dandy Warhols - You Were The Last High (nice song)
33. Electric Six - Gay Bar (fuck me dead - if i had a gun I'd shoot their producers)
34. Michael Franti/Spearhead - Everyone Deserves Music (I love Michael - in a completely non-gay way of course)
35. Magic Dirt - Plastic Loveless Letter (good song)
36. Jane's Addiction - Just Because (ugh!)
37. The Cat Empire - Days Like These (TOO MUCH)
38. Butterfingers - Everytime (ugh - all fart and dick jokes - he needs to change his MO)
39. Alex Lloyd - Coming Home (*bang*)
40. Jack Johnson - Times Like These (niceish)
41. The Beautiful Girls - Black Bird (I like it - even though they're try hard jack johnsons who is a try hard ben harper who is a try hard pearl jam)
42. Muse - Stockholm Syndrome (nice)
43. The Strokes - 12:51 (I like their old stuff better)
44. Hilltop Hoods - Dumb Enough (:S)
45. A Perfect Circle - Weak And Powerless (top stuff)
46. The Herd - 77% (overtly racist song about not being racist :S but pretty well on the realistic mark, the trouble is they are picking on one nation only, this is not the case at all, most nations are racist, some just choose to hide it better)
47. Michael Franti/Spearhead - Bomb The World (yay!)
48. Radiohead - There There (goodish)
49. Radiohead - 2+2=5 (goodish)
50. The Waifs - Fisherman's Daughter (top stuff)
51. John Butler Trio - Sista (Live) (love it! listening to it now)
52. The Bens - Just Pretend (nice half arsed attempt at a song)
53. Blink-182 - Feeling This (goodish)
54. Xavier Rudd - Let Me Be (:S)
55. Missy Higgins - Greed For Your Love (:S)
56. NOFX - Franco Un-American (nice stuff)
57. Missy Elliott - Work It (fuck me dead!)
58. AFI - The Leaving Song Pt.II (noot too bed)
59. Gus & Frank - So Entertaining (I have no idea)
60. Magic Dirt - Watch Out Boys (I like it and I like her, you think I'd be in with a chance?)
61. Metallica - St. Anger (Fuck me dead - what the hell is this crap?)
62. The Beautiful Girls - Music (goodish)
63. Something For Kate - Song For A Sleepwalker (ugh!)
64. Belle & Sebastian - Step Into My Office, Baby (you can step into mine baby! ;))
65. Andromeda - Something White And Sigmund (I think it's a top song)
66. Living End - Tabloid Magazine (good stuff)
67. Amiel - Love Song (I like it)
68. Butterfly Effect - 1 Second Of Insanity (great)
69. Muse - Hysteria (so-so)
70. A Perfect Circle - The Outsider (top stuff)
71. AFI - Girls Not Grey (nice)
72. Placebo - Running Up That Hill (Placebo are gods)
73. Epicure - Life Sentence (so-so)
74. Cody Chesnutt - Look Good In Leather (I like it - am thinking of buying the album)
75. Roots/Feat. Cody Chesnutt - The Seed (2.0) (see previous)
76. Powderfinger - Rockin’ Rocks (over rated)
77. Powderfinger - Stumblin’ (good)
78. Gerling - Who's Ya Daddy? (grrr)
79. Kelis - Milkshake (*bang*)
80. Benny Benassi Presents The Biz - Satisfaction (I have no idea)
81. The Chemical Brothers Featuring The Flaming Lips - The Golden Path (good stuff)
82. Basement Jaxx - Good Luck (Ugh!)
83. The Strokes - Reptilia (see above)
84. Chicks On Speed - We Don't Play Guitars (:S)
85. Missy Elliott - Pass The Dutch (*bang*)
86. Pete Murray - Lines (good stuff)
87. Junior Senior - Move Your Feet (?)
88. Machine Gun Fellatio - Voices In My Head (*vomit*)
89. White Stripes - Girl U Have No Faith In Medicine (neither do I - see above)
90. Offcutts - Break It (Down James Brown) (okish lil' ditty)
91. Sleepy Jackson - Vampire Racecourse (not bad)
92. Gyroscope - Doctor, Doctor (?)
93. White Stripes - I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself (I don't mind this song :))
94. White Stripes - In The Cold, Cold Night (ugh!)
95. Placebo - Special Needs (great)
96. Soggy Bottom Boys - Man Of Constant Sorrow (Skeewiff Remix) (i love it)
97. The Darkness - Growing On Me (it sure is for 80's rip-off stuff)
98. Blur - Out Of Time (crap)
99. The Mars Volta - Inertiatic Esp (so-so)
100. The Cat Empire - The Chariot (even @ 100 - still overrated)

www.sanity.com.au: The 'Hey Yeah' boys put together this unique style release featuring two discs each for their own. Grammy-winning duo Outkast Big Boi and Andre 3000 have a disc to themselves, though each also will appear on the other's side. Great album.. definitely worth a listen.

There are few legitimate albums in existence that have as much filler as this disastrous double album. Ok Ok Ok - you might say that albums such as the second installment of the Spice Girls or half of 2pac's greatest hits, or Britney Spears entire second and third albums and even Fresh Prince's greatest hits... or *gasp* Marky Mark's greatest hits are all almost entirely filler - but I did say legitimate albums and the abovementioned are obviously not legitimate albums at all.

Usually you get one (1) great song on an album and three (3) good songs that grow on you more and more as you listen to them. Conversely, there is always that inevitable piece of shit song that you skip over unless your either to busy, or feeling indifferent at the time. Rarely you get a great album where every song is fantastic eg. Ten - Pearl Jam, Throwing Copper- Live, Clarity-JEW, About A Boy - Badly Drawn Boy, Parklife - Blur, Foo Fighters - Foo Fighters, Useful Music - Josh Joplin Group, and but a handful of others.

However, in stark contrast to the aforementioned formula so many other "artists" use on their albums Outkast has one catchy song that grates on you after a few listens and 2 CD's of filler. I do not know exactly what I was expecting to begin with. In my defense I would like to point out it was the best of a bad bunch of CD's that I could purchase from Port Macquarie Sanity with a gift voucher I had - it did come with two (2) CD's for the price of a normal overpriced to buggery Sanity CD.

I have since learnt my lesson on buying an album sound unheard. It has sat in my CD collection gathering dust for the past few months. I cannot for the life of me even give it away to a good home - I cannot find a home that is willing to put up with it. Oh woe, woe is me! Woe!

The next album I would like would have to be one (1) of the following:

1. Mirrorball - Neil Young
2. Hey Album - Marvelous 3
3. Chronicles - Rush
4. Bizarre Ride II -Pharcyde
5. Whatsoever I may be wanting the next time I compile a list, which as you probably can guess, is all dependent on what my feeble brain can think of at the time.

Mutilate (v) To make imperfect by excising or altering parts

I know many people who self mutilate themselves. However, mutilation has always been a part of mankind's nature.

We circumcise ourselves. We tattoo ourselves. We brand ourselves. We wear jewelry. We wear clothes to change our bodies. We exercise to change our appearance. All of the abovementioned things are just ways of trying to cope.

There are many reasons we try to do these things, however, they all get back to the fact that we are victims. Victims of: societies pressures; of religion; of abuse; of circumstance; of fashion and so on. As victims we are trying to cope in the way we find that works best for us.

Do I self mutilate myself? Yes. I exercise in excess trying to gain what in my mind is the perfect body shape that deep down inside I know I will never attain without resorting to drugs. I shave daily, sometimes twice daily, trying to hide my beard from the world - fearful of what will happen to me if I do not shave. I chew my fingernails to the point that they have had a fungal infection for most of my life. I cut my hair short because I was picked on as a child for having curly hair. I rarely smile because I am scared of showing my teeth - teeth that have a slight gap that I am paranoid the world will laugh at. When I get itchy I scratch myself until I either hurt, or bleed, whichsoever may come first to get rid of the itchy feeling.

However, I do not cut myself.

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Cutting

Victims self mutilate themselves. Victims self mutilate themselves as a form of the following:

1.self-punishment: the victim has suffered some form of abuse that has led them to see themselves as worthless. The abuse can be: physical; verbal; or emotional.

2.inability to express emotions: whether psychologically retardation is the factor, or extreme depression, often the victim self mutilates as a way of expressing emotions that they feel they are incapable of expressing in any other way.

3.regaining self-control: cutting may be a way of showing others that you are in control of your own: life; dreams; or future.

4.regain mortality: often the cutter feels nothing. cutting is a way of feeling again.

(the above list is loosely based on: http://www.geocities.com/bnl_jgk/thedistortionwithin.html)
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While I can empathise with why people feel the need to cut themselves. I will never be able to truly understand the feeling until I have done it myself as a coping mechanism.

I hope never to have to use it as a coping mechanism.

Again I have a friend who can see through the bullshit. I take my hat off to him. Cheers.

My car is already ruined and scratched all over thanks to a garage that is not long enough to fit a car in.

The carwash seems to be coming along nicely - sure Carlo was rather upset that his line was in the incorrect position, however, it was his fault to begin with - he continually has inconsistencies within his drawing that he expects me to work with. Where he has measurements and says to go by them, he suggests that we use the sketches, where we use the sketches he suggests we use the measurements - it's a no win situation but at least he's cooled down.

My fridge was left open - again - I do not understand why I was given a fridge to put my things if people are going to keep using it to put their things in, and then, they have the nerve to leave it open making everything melt and heat up. I thought when Greg left the leaving-fridge-door-open-fiasco would end, and it did end for some months, but fuckmedead, it is not difficult to close a fridge door. It is not difficult to close any door! These people must live in a tent! A tent!

It is a rather hot day. The heat is not so bad that it is stiffling, but outside it was humid - "humid" humid, not just humid for Port Macquarie (PM people insist if the temperature is above 20 degrees then it is cold, if it is below 20 degrees then it is hot).

What annoys me about some designers is that they fail to go outside or onsite. These concept plans I have been looking into today were very light on for information. Clearly the designers had not been onsite at all the following problems were identified:

1. They left out 2 bridges, one of which has to go over the sewerage discharge point - with no bridge the cars are going to be driving through shit
2. They have grades that are almost zero allowing for no drainage - in an area where drainage is very important due to acid sulphate soils, wetlands and the like
3. They have failed to follow the minimum and maximum design criteria that is given to them as part of the design.
4. They have failed to take into account key design points that were almost handed to them on a platter in the concept design.

Some people fail to see the forest for the trees. Other people fail to see the trees for the forest. Either way the end result is the same halfbaked mess.

I need to tidy up my room - it is a mess! and to make things worse, I had someone here on the weekend. I blame them for my cleanliness demise. Damn messy people. (Sure they claim it was messy before they even got here - but I know the truth).

The google recommended search items for my webpage were as follows: depeche mode lyrics

the first page that came up had the following:

Depeche-Mode's Lyrics - A Photograph Of You Lyrics

What good is a photograph of you?
Every time I look at it
It makes me feel blue

What use is a souvenir of something
We once had
When all it ever does is
Make me feel bad

I wish I could tear it up
But then again I haven’t the guts
I wish I could throw it on the fire
I wish I could
But to say I would
I’d be a liar

What good is a color print of a little baby doll?
When just one little glance is enough to make me feel dull

I wish I would misplace it
But then I take such good care of it
I wish it would disappear
I say I wish
But then I relish it being here

What good is a photograph of you?
Every time I look at it
It makes me feel blue

(http://www.best-lyrics-center.com/A_Photograph_of_You_Lyrics.html)

This ends today's chapter in google recommended searches. We shall remain on the edge of our seats waiting in anticipation to see what the next *dum dum dum dah - triumphant music* google recommended search will be!

An extract from "Trainspotting" - based on the novel by Irvine Welsh:

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers...Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends...Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.

But why would I want to do a thing like that?

Interior Design a.k.a Office Arrangement a.k.a OHS&R a.k.a Feng Shui

Workplace Layout

Workplace layout is important. Particular points of interest include entry and egress points. Cramped conditions should be avoided because they lower worker productivity and increase OHS & R problems.

The building code of Australia says:

“Adequate space should be provided for access ways to and from exits, workstations, and amenties. Passage and exit ways should be no less than 810 mm wide for workplaces with less than 100 workers.”

Workstation Layout

Workstation layout is important. Correct workstation layout:
•reduces clutter;
•improves worker productivity and efficiency; and
•reduces work place injury.

The building code of Australia says:

“No less than 2.3 square metres of floor space and 11 cubic metres of air space should be provided for each worker. This calculation is to be exclusive of any objects or encumbrance and should be considered as the minimum space required for each worker’s workstation”

Seating Arrangements

Seating arrangements are also important in an office. If you are not feeling on top of things, the chances are you are sitting too close to the door. If your experience is to always to be in the firing line, the chances are you are sitting directly in the line of the energy flow entering the room that is, opposite the door. To be in charge of your job you need to be in charge of your space and to position your desk so that it enjoys a "commanding view" of the room, particularly the door. A large, substantial desk is good: it conveys authority and success. However, it is not good to conduct client interviews sitting behind it because it is a barrier to communications, intimidating in fact. It is better to be ultimately—and metaphorically—on the same side as your client, in more relaxed seating, if you want a successful meeting with input from the client. However, if you want the upper hand, then the converse is true. (adapted from: http://www.nonde.freeserve.co.uk/Quest/Quest%20Physical/fslaw.htm")

Workstation Height

Workstation height is important for reducing RSI. The optimal height for a workstation is between 700 – 760 mm and should be located so the elbow is just acute of right angles to the surface i.e just above elbow level.

Work Surface Layout

The most frequently used objects should be within half-arm length reach. The following general rules apply:

•the phone should be on the submissive handed side of the person within the half-arm length arc;
•pens/pencils should be on the dominant handed side of the person within the half-arm length arc;
•Detachable keyboards are recommended;
•Keyboard should be located 60-70 mm from the edge of the desk surface – wrist rests are not recommended;
•The monitor and keyboard should be kept central so the body is not skewed when typing;
•The screen should be tilted 5 degrees upwards and placed side-on to windows to avoid glare;
•the computer should be centred, with the screen at eye-level 600-700 mm from the eyes; and
•the document holder should be on the dominant handed side of the person at eye level.

I really do not understand what it is about people who come around the corner at break-neck speed cutting me off, in a 100 km/hr zone I might add, merely to do between 50-60 km/hr in front of me. Cutting someone off at the best of times is annoying, but to cut someone off to go half the speed limit in front of them is damn right road-rage-inducing-annoying. Some people wonder why there are so many road rage incidents out there - I don't wonder, I know - it's all because people do not think about the consequences of their actions. Sooner or later these people are going to get a lesson in the laws of physics and inertia - I just hope that when they get this lesson it is minor, they learn something from it, so they do not make the same error again.

An extract from Michael Moore's "Stupid White Men":

he has signed a bill providing for federal funds to be distributed to "faith-based" charitable organisations. he has expanded the number of federal crimes for which the death penalty can be given to a total of 60. he has signed the bill outlawing gay marriages and has taken out ads on Christian radio stations touting his opposition to any form of legal same-sex couplings. in a short span of time, he has been able to kick ten million people off welfare - that's ten million out of fourteen million total recipients. he has promised states "bonus funds" if they can reduce their welfare numbers further, and made it easier to get these funds by not requiring the states to help the ex-welfare recipients find jobs. he has introduced a plan that would bar any assistance to teenage parents if they drop out of school or leave their parents home. though he is careful not to draw attention to it, he supports many of the old provisions of Newt Gingrich's "Contract with America" including lowering capital gains tax. in spite of calls from republican governors like George Ryan of Illinois to support a memoratorium on capital punishment, he rejected all efforts to slow down the number of executions even after it was revealed that there are dozens on death row who are innocent. he has refused to sign an international land mine treaty signed by 137 nations - but not by Iraq, Libya, North Korea, or the United States. he has skuttled the Kyoto protocol....he has accelerated drilling for gas and oil on federal lands at a pace that matches, and in some areas exceeds, the production level during the Reagan administration. he has approved the sale of one Californian oil field in the largest privatised deal in American history, and he opened the National Petroleum Reserve in Alaska (something even Reagan wasn't able to do.) And he became the first president since Richard Nixon not to force the auto manufacturers to improve their mileage per gallon - which would save millions of barrels of oil per day.

yes you would have to agree, considering all of the above accomplishments, that Bill Clinton was one of the best Republican Presidents we've ever had.

For some obscure reason my boss wanted me to re-arrange my new office layout so I lose the power position. I would think someone like him who has been in business as long as he has would realise the importance of having the dominant position in your own office, however, he does not even seem to understand the concept at all.

I bet he's one of those bastards that drives 50 km/hr in a 100 zone as well!

I realise it is a little late for new years resolutions - but we shall just pretend I am Chinese (that way I am only two (2) days late).

Personal Goals
To be able to legitimately say I can bench press 100 kg with correct style and form;
To be able to run 2 km's in less than 5 minutes;
To gain 5 kg;
To read at least one day per week;
To write at least one day per week;
To spend at least one day per week; training/studying/learning whether work related, academic related, or just for the sake of learning related;
To increase my assets;
To pay off my car loan; and
To pay off my credit card.

Work Goals
To convince my boss that becoming a member of the institute is essential for my career developement and that it is worth his time, effort, and money into my professional develeopement;
To project manage without any problems;
To increase the variety of my work; and
To move into management as much as possible.

I do not have high hopes for this year - but if I don't do something about it, this year will be gone as quickly as the last, and my future will gurgle down the drain with the shower water in a swirling, belly button lint and soap scum type of way.

Adam's Best of Pearl Jam:

Alive,
Once,
Footsteps,
Jeremy,
Daughter,
Elderly woman,
Indifference,
Dissident,
Not for you,
Nothingman,
Corduroy,
Betterman,
Hail hail,
Given to fly,
Wish list,
Do the evolution,
All those yesterdays,
Even flow,
Insignificance,
Parting ways,
Thumbing my way,
I am mine,
Love boat captain,
Last exit,
MFC,
Why go,
Rear view mirror,
Glorified g,
Crazy mary,
Green disease,
Black,
Dead man,
Undone,
Face of love, and
Immortality

yay for www.booble.com :P

It has been a madcap few weeks. I was at a friends engagement party on Saturday, it was actually rather nice. The biggest problem is their naive ultra Christian demeanor and values.

My friend REM was making jokes about wife beating and child abuse at my expense - the Christians looked on in total fear and never spoke to me again - they were disgusted at the sight of me.

My friends AG and FL who announced their engagement stated proudly that they were getting married in "314 days to be exact". We quietly took them aside afterwards and I exclaimed with heavy sarcasm we were getting married in 313 days...FL jumped up and down congratulating us, hugging us, in total joy, and said: "really? that's fantastic!!!" - AG, the brighter of the two by 10-fold said: "no not really", I said in agreement: "I was joking".

Ah Christians - with people like that in the religion it is no wonder more wars have been fought in God's name than any other. The third world would not be the third world were it not for the missionaries. Alas, I can not merely blame the Christians - the Jews, Muslims, all believe in the same God. Whether you believe Jesus was a profit, or the son of God by immaculate conception - it does not make much difference. Subtle differences, different interpretations of the same text, there is no difference.

Religion separates us. While we are separated there will be no us. We are fighting our own brothers.

Whitey Ford - What It's Like

We've all seen a man at the liquor store beggin' for your change

The hair on his face is dirty, dread-locked, and full of mange

He asks a man for what he could spare, with shame in his eyes

"Get a job you fucking slob," is all he replies

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes

'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues



Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...



Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom that said he was in love

He said, "Don't worry about a thing, baby doll

I'm the man you've been dreaming of."

But 3 months later he say he won't date her or return her calls

And she swear, "God damn, if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls."

And then she heads for the clinic and

she gets some static walking through the door

They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner

and they call her a whore

God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes

'cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose



Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...





I've seen a rich man beg

I've seen a good man sin

I've seen a tough man cry

I've seen a loser win

And a sad man grin

I heard an honest man lie

I've seen the good side of bad

And the downside of up

And everything between

I licked the silver spoon

Drank from the golden cup

And smoked the finest green

I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times

before I broke their heart

You know where it ends, yo, it usually depends on where you start



I knew this kid named Max

He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs

He liked to hang out late

he liked to get shit-faced and keep the pace with thugs

Until late one night there was a big gun fight and Max lost his head

He pulled out his chrome .45, talked some shit, and wound up dead

Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of this pain

You know it crumbles that way

at least that's what they say when you play the game

God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news

'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose



Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...

Then you really might know what it's like...to have to lose

I am sitting here in my boxer shorts with scratch marks all over my body from excessive scratching in an attempt to scratch an itch I can not seem to shake, due in part, to the excessive sweat coming from me during this humid time, and due in part to the fact I have made myself itch more from excessive scratching. I am listening to assorted mp3's on the computer: Depeche Mode, It's No Good, aptly plays at this moment in time.

I am contemplating my future. I often just sit here and think about the future. Think about the past. Think about what I want in life. Think about how difficult what I want in life has become. I like to keep my mind ticking over. For some reason, if I am not thinking about something, I feel lazy and ignorant. I far too often realise I am both. I can not relax properly. It is a huge flaw of mine.

I would like to do some further study. I am kind of torn between doing something worthwhile or remotely useful to work, such as: management; OHS; accounting; finance; computing; or diploma of law. OR doing something I would be interested in, such as: quantum physics; geology; photography; computers; or environmental science. I guess in a way they are all sort of remotely work related.

It is difficult to work out what I want to do, because, no matter what I choose, I will have very little time to do it. There is also the dilemma of working out whether to do a TAFE or university degree. After going through university, or even finishing highschool, TAFE will be a breeze no matter what I do, but it will keep me amused, hopefully, for about a year. However, doing a university degree by correspondence may mean biting off more than I can chew.

I want to buy a unit/flat/townhouse and rent it out to pay it off. I want to be one of the tenants. I need a partner to secure the loan. I will struggle to find one.

I did not understand why people choose to live in ignorant bliss, then I went to America and realised how blissful it was without a care in the world, sitting there thinking, ignorantly, that you were the world. The ignorance of the Port Macquarian annoys me. They sit here being fed lies and half truths and take it all as fact.

I want to be loved. I once was loved. I am not sure where I stand anymore on that matter. I am scared to really ask the question because I already know the answer and it is not something I want to know. Perhaps that is the way they (Americans, Port Macquarians, Everyone) live. They do not ask the question - because they do not want to know the answer.

I am over tired - but cannot sleep. My head hurts. I feel unfit. I do not know what to say anymore on my blog. I never knew what to say. I guess in the end it does not matter what I say because there is no one reading it, and those who do, have fallen into its depths by accident.

I want the world. I expect nothing.

Hear no truth. See no truth. Speak no truth.

"You think I got my eyes closed but I've been looking at you the whole fucking time." Pearl Jam - Once.

I've played "Developement Engineer" for two days now and am finding it to be a breeze. Going over DA's and the like is really not that bad.

My boss claims they have it tough - but thus far it has been a joke. I may live to regret this comment yet.

Note: need to remember about music book SMc and I will be compiling.

Cheers to CCK, DS and REM on their birthdays (which were all a few days back - but it's all good) and a very special mention for CRM whose birthday was 29ish days ago.

Once again I find myself disgusted at the state of every single toilet I have been into in Melbourne. I have been in some pretty dodgy toilets in my time; fairfield/cabramatta --> need I say more?; but the Melbourne toilets on the whole, are disgusting. I do not know why those south of the border can not manage to get more urine in the bowl, than on the floor: carelessness?; poor aim?; some kind of genetic penis disorder?; I don't know! but they are disgusting! disgusting! You Melbournians should be ashamed of yourselves!

What makes it worse is the fact that you guys don't seem to mind standing in utter filth. I was once talking to a dodgy looking character who was standing in a toilet in the Exhibition Centre at Melbourne. The scene: urine, toilet paper, vomit up to one (1) inch thick in places all over the floor; the dodgy character is there rolling a cigarette, and says " It's not dope you know. The young whipper snappers these days think all rollies are dope. It's just normal tobacco. The last guy looked at me like I was doing drugs. I'm not", in reply I say "If it's not dope, why have you chosen to stand hiding in utter filth up to your ankles to roll a cigarette?", he replies "You have a damn good point!"; I, for fear of vomitting from the smell and filth in the toilets, quickly leave; he stands there in the filth, contemplating whether or not he should leave.

Melbourne New Years Eve Sucks!

Melbourne = little baby Sydney. It has more charm. It has more style. but let's face it --> Melbourne tries so very hard to be Sydney it hurts. Sydney has a great fireworks extravaganza each New Years Eve, over the harbour and opera house and bridge. Melbourne has a new years eve fireworks display, that they said was the most expensive yet, with the backdrop of the brown, dirty looking Yarra river. The Melbourne fireworks display looked like something I could've rigged up in my backyard with $100, a trip to Canberra, and a match.

BUT Sydney doesn't have Crown Casino -- that is where it loses out slightly. To visit? give me Sydney any day. To live? I think Melbourne would win hands down, but, and only but, that is because of its smaller size.

I have been through the most surreal experience of my life (well - one of). There was a traffic jam, or more correctly, a traffic jam was unfolding before my very eyes as I drove in the oppositte direction. The situation: after having driven 15 hrs(with small breaks every few hrs --> driver fatigue kills, just remember that kiddies, stop, revive, survive)...I was driving along a gauntlet of cars for over 80kms...each of them moving slowly..basically stopped....headlights beaming at me...as far as the eye could see...I could see them moving up ahead of me, but no matter how fast I drove (up to the legal speed limit...*shifty look*) I could not catch up to the point that the cars went from barely moving, to stopped....it was almost like a dream I once had when chasing the ocean...no matter how fast I ran I could not make it to the water...

I have discovered that the road trip is not the fun part, it's the company. And no matter how much I try and relive past glory days, by retracing old steps, they will never be the same. I felt I knew that they wouldn't, but like a lamb to the slaughter, I went blindly along anyway.

In the end I got out of this town and left all of my worries behind me. It is good to forget all that matters and focus on nothing more than getting to a destination.