My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

Once again I find myself disgusted at the state of every single toilet I have been into in Melbourne. I have been in some pretty dodgy toilets in my time; fairfield/cabramatta --> need I say more?; but the Melbourne toilets on the whole, are disgusting. I do not know why those south of the border can not manage to get more urine in the bowl, than on the floor: carelessness?; poor aim?; some kind of genetic penis disorder?; I don't know! but they are disgusting! disgusting! You Melbournians should be ashamed of yourselves!

What makes it worse is the fact that you guys don't seem to mind standing in utter filth. I was once talking to a dodgy looking character who was standing in a toilet in the Exhibition Centre at Melbourne. The scene: urine, toilet paper, vomit up to one (1) inch thick in places all over the floor; the dodgy character is there rolling a cigarette, and says " It's not dope you know. The young whipper snappers these days think all rollies are dope. It's just normal tobacco. The last guy looked at me like I was doing drugs. I'm not", in reply I say "If it's not dope, why have you chosen to stand hiding in utter filth up to your ankles to roll a cigarette?", he replies "You have a damn good point!"; I, for fear of vomitting from the smell and filth in the toilets, quickly leave; he stands there in the filth, contemplating whether or not he should leave.