My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

I'm: sick; tired; hungry; aching; sore; worn out; over stressed; over worked; under paid; and as much as it pains me to admit it, not superman.

Comedy Central Refutes O'Reilly's Claim
DAVID BAUDER, AP Television Writer

NEW YORK - The folks at Comedy Central were annoyed when Fox News Channel's Bill O'Reilly kept referring to "The Daily Show" audience as "stoned slackers." So they did a little research. And guess whose audience is more educated?

Viewers of Jon Stewart's show are more likely to have completed four years of college than people who watch "The O'Reilly Factor," according to Nielsen Media Research.

O'Reilly's teasing came when Stewart appeared on his show earlier this month.

"You know what's really frightening?" O'Reilly said. "You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true. You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote."

Comedy Central executives realized, and O'Reilly acknowledged, that he was poking fun. But they said they didn't want a misconception to persist.

"If the head of General Motors was watching O'Reilly's show, that could be very important to us," said Doug Herzog, Comedy Central president.

"If you listen to O'Reilly, you get the sense that it was crazy longhairs behind the show," he said. "And it's not. It's great, smart television that attracts a well-compensated audience, most of whom are voting age."

Relax, said Fox News Channel spokesman Rob Zimmerman.

"Comedy Central must have lost their sense of humor," Zimmerman said. "Without Jon Stewart, Comedy Central would turn into the Great American Country Channel."

Comedy Central also touted a recent study by the University of Pennsylvania's National Annenberg Election Survey, which said young viewers of "The Daily Show" were more likely to answer questions about politics correctly than those who don't.

Comedy Central had no statistics on how many people watch "The Daily Show" stoned.

Although seemingly taken aback by repeated "stoned slackers" references while talking with O'Reilly, Stewart was ready with a joke.

"This election is going to rely on the undecided," he said. "And who is more undecided than stoned slackers? Ice cream or pretzels? Ice cream or pretzels? What's it going to be?

Whether it's the slacker or no-slacker zone, O'Reilly is entering it Oct. 7, when he's scheduled to appear on "The Daily Show."

So if Stewart's audience is comprised of stoned slackers, how would Herzog describe O'Reilly's audience?

"I'm not getting into that game," he said.

I don't know what the fuck O'Reilly is going on about - but there is more truth in reporting on The Daily Show than there is on The O'Reilly Factor - at least The Daily Show is upfront about how it is a pisstake on current events, the O'Reilly Factor, however, is a sneaky pisstake on the gullibility of it's audience.

You are not allowed into my new flat unless you bring one of the items still required; unless of course you are a designated key-minder, a bikini model with a nudist fetish, or bearing an equivalent gift.

Assorted items still required for my new flat:

1. three (3) x extension chords;
2. one (1) x fridge (on order - still to arrive as of today);
3. one (1) x washing machine (on order - still to arrive as of today);
4. one (1) x large tv (still to pick up from Omar as of today);
5. one (1) x ash tray to put coins in near phone (they are just the right size for coins and have easier access than a money box);
6. one (1) x blown glass fruit bowl (am planning on purchasing at a cheap price from a second hand shop - they are not only cheap, but better made, more valuable, and look more retro for obvious reasons);
7. one (1) x 3 foot high by 5 foot long bookcase (am planning on possibly creating this myself, or have someone do it for me - I have the plan drawn up);
8. one (1) x drier (not a necessity considering I don't have my washing machine yet);
9. one (1) x ironing board (if this list was in any type of priority order this would be much higher than number 9);
10. one (1) x lava lamp (ok - so they're kinda gay - but damn-it I've always loved them and said to myself back when i was younger I would buy one for my house when I got a house - a unit is close enough to a house)
11. one (1) x plasma lamp (got to find the one CRM gave me - may as well use it instead of my lava lamp because it's already been bought);
12. one (1) x dart board (I love darts - even if I suck);
13. one (1) x Japanese flag (I lost my Japanese flag);
14. one (1) x NSW flag (I have a flag fetish - well not really a fetish - I just use them instead of curtains because they look cooler, gather less dust, and fade less);
15. one (1) x dish cloth
16. one (1) x bench top cleaning cloth
17. one (1) x thing that makes the toilet water go blue
18. one (1) x clock (to be delivered by RIH this weekend);
19. four (4) x shot glasses
20. one (1) x one foot by two foot tables to go next to my futon;
21. two (2) x large cushions for my futon, blue in colour, from Big W last time I saw them, they were across between a pillow and a cushion - very fitting for a futon I think;
22. three (3) x cushions for my futon - small, and cheap from whereever is cheapest;
23. one (1) x telstra additional connection;
24. two (2) x toothbrush holder jars (planning on using one for a toothbrush and the other for my razor)
25. one (1) x vacuum cleaner (on order - still to arrive);
26. some x mirrors from Ikea (since moving into a unit - Ikea is now my new favourite store);
27. one (1) x bedside lamp;
28. one (1) x CD player (or a good soundcard and better speakers for my computer - we'll go with the alternate soundcard and better speakers I believe);
29. one (1) x VCR and/or DVD player;
30. one (1) x assorted tools and toolbox;
32. one (1) x wine bottle opener;
33. one (1) x foot cube thingo;
34. one (1) x plant stand;
35. one (1) x small plant; and
36. This will do for now...there's probably more but I can't think of them atm (at the moment - for some reason everyone seems to ask me what that means these days).

The locksmith took three (3) seconds to get into my place - so I talked to him for 15 minutes so I could get the most out of my $100 call-out charge. The way I see it - I paid $1 for the locksmith to get into my house and $99 for my 15 minute conversation.

It was an alright conversation, costing me $99, I made sure we covered everything from JIT, to new world economies, to quality assurance systems, to quality control systems, to Japan and Germany's post-war reconstruction, to asian work ethic and how poor Australian work ethic is in comparison, to engineering, and to different nuances in languages.

I locked myself out of my new place - who wants a spare key so I can ring you up next time I do it?

"60 percent of Americans think we've found Iraq's imaginary WMDs, and 22 percent "believe" that Saddam Hussein used such weapons against U.S. troops during the 2003 invasion." (Uexpress)

Now that is scary :|

Musician Costello not in tune with FBI

The critically revered and outspoken musician has added a personal note on his newest Lost Highway release, "The Delivery Man." The back cover bears the official FBI seal and the standardized wording warning against "criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain." ADVERTISEMENT

Above that, however, Costello has added his own comment: "This artist does not endorse the following warning. The FBI doesn't have his home phone number, and he hopes that they don't have yours."

(Variety, Monday September 27)

Someone asked me if the lyrics I refer to have any meaning or are related to anything in my life at the time. The lyrics I refer to usually are based on one of three things:

1. A song I am listening to;
2. A song I like the lyrics to; AND/OR
3. A song that has a relevant meaning to myself at the time of typing it up.

The last two songs for instance fit into all 3 of these categories. The first, "ramble on", I put in because I was feeling lost, it represents the search I feel that myself, and everyone else is going through all the time. The second song represents the hope that keeps myself searching. I can be what I want to be.

Now the question that plagues my very existence is - what do I want to be ? This takes us back to the search and leaves me in a perpetual catch 22. And more to the original abovementioned point - who in the hell really cares what the songs mean to me? or what they represent to me?

Finally someone with some sense has come forward and said that no matter what the government says they do not and cannot control the interest rates in such a way that there will be a noticeable difference - unless of course they do something completely madcap - and that'd require a government like the greens before that'd happen! Unfortunately, the moment of correctness, was on JJJ hack - and hardly anyone even listens to it :(

"I Can" - Nas

I know i can,
be what i wanna be,
if i work hard at it,
i'll be where i wanna be
i know i can, i know i can
be what i wanna be, be what i wanna be
if i work hard at it, if i work hard at it
i'll be where i wanna be, i'll be where i wanna be

b, b boys and girls listen up, you can be anything in the world
in god we trust, an architect, doctor, maybe an actress
but nothin' comes easy it takes much practice,
like i met a woman who was becoming a star,
she was very beautiful leaving people in awe
singin' songs Lena Horne, but the younger version,
hung wit' the wrong person, got her stunger than irwin,
cocaine sniffi'n up drugs all in her nose,
could've died so young, now looks ugly and old,
no fun cuz now when she reaches for hugs
people hold their breath cuz she smells of corrosion and death,
watch the company you keep, and the crowd you bring,
cuz they came to do drugs and you came to sing,
so if you gonna be the best im'a tell you how,
put your hands in the air and take the vow

i know i can, i know i can
be what i wanna be, be what i wanna be
if i work hard at it, if i work hard at it
i'll be where i wanna be, i'll be where i wanna be

b, b boys and girls listen again
this is for grown looking girls who's only ten,
the ones who watch videos and do as they see
as cute as can be, up in the clubs with fake i.ds,
careful 'fo you meet a man with h.i.v.
you can host a tv like oprah winfrey
whatever you decide, be careful, some men be rapists
so act your age, don't pretend to be older than you are,
give yourself time to grow, you're thinking he can give you wealth
but so young boy, you could use alot of help you know
ya thinkin' life's all about smokin' weed and ice,
you don't weanna be my age and can't read and write
beggin' different women for a place to sleep at night,
smart boys turn to men and do whatver they wish
if you believe you can achieve, then say it like this

i know i can, i know i can
be what i wanna be, be what i wanna be
if i work hard at it, if i work hard at it
i'll be where i wanna be, i'll be where i wanna be

b before we came to this country,
we were kings and queens-never porch monkeys
there was empires in africa called kush,
timbuktu, where every race came to get books to learn from black teachers
who taught greeks and romans, asians arabs, and gave them gold
when gold was converted to money it all changed
money then became empowerment for europeans,
the persian military invaded
they heard about the gold, the teachings and everything sacred
africa was almost robbed naked,
slavery was money, so they began making slaveships
egypt was the place that alexander the great went
he was in shock that in the mountains were black faces
shot off their nose to impose what basically
still goes on today you see
if the truth is told the youth can grow,
they'll learn to survive, until they gain control
nobody says you have to be gangsters, hoes
read more, learn more, change the globe
ghetto children do your thing
hold your head up little man you're a king
young princess when you get your wedding ring
your man's saying she's my queeeen

i know i can, i know i can
be what i wanna be, be what i wanna be
if i work hard at it, if i work hard at it
i'll be where i wanna be, i'll be where i wanna be....be be be

Save the music y'all, save the music y'all
Save the music y'all, save the music y'all
Save the music

"Ramble On" - Led Zeppelin

Leaves are falling all around, It's time I was on my way.
Thanks to you, I'm much obliged for such a pleasant stay.
But now it's time for me to go. The autumn moon lights my way.
For now I smell the rain, and with it pain, and it's headed my way.
Sometimes I grow so tired, but I know I've got one thing I got to do...

Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Got no time to for spreadin' roots, The time has come to be gone.
And to' our health we drank a thousand times, it's time to Ramble On.

Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear.
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air.
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair.
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her....yeah.

Ramble On, And now's the time, the time is now, to sing my song.
I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl, on my way.
I've been this way ten years to the day, Ramble On,
Gotta find the queen of all my dreams.

Gonna ramble on, sing my song. Gotta keep-a-searchin' for my baby...
Gonna work my way, round the world. I can't stop this feelin' in my heart
Gotta keep searchin' for my baby. I can't find my bluebird!

Here i sit in my new flat for the first typing into this god forsaken blog. For those of you in the inner loop - I still have no fridge and/or washing machine after it being "in stock" and "on order" for two (2) weeks! Apparently they are to arrive on Monday or Tuesday - I on the other hand feel as though I'm being ripped off.

My new flat is rather snazzy though - large kitchen/living/lounge room and the best part is that the bathroom is big enough to have four (4) in the shower, three (3) in the bath, six (6) people in the change-room part of it and still be able to invite over a football team for a mass orgy!

The carpet has been well thought-out as well: brown and light brown splotches. Port Macquarie has dirt that goes the colour of blood when it gets wet, and yet, all of the places in Port Macquarie seem to have white or cream carpet - the carpet here is such a colour that you could go frolick naked in the mud with a pack of pigs (do pigs live in packs? what is a group of pigs called? A sty?) then come in here and roll around naked on the floor with your pig breatheren and still not stain the capet in a noticeable way!

Ah - now all I have to do is wait until I can get the appliances that put me into this century.

What worries me is the escalation of violence in Russia. Previously the Chechnyians were confining their attacks to the province - now they're attacking openly and boldy in the motherland. Two plane bombings that were undertaken with military precision - car bombings - and the school hijacking all within a fortnight. These are the signs of worse things to come.

The important question is similar to the Clock Work Orange conundrum - does a violence within society begat violent men? or do violent men begat violence in a society?

How do we begin to stop the hate cycle when we are feeding it?

It really annoys me when things like the Australian Embassy bombing in Indonesia happen for a few different reasons: Australians always report the story as “The Australian Embassy was bombed in Indonesia was bombed – but no Australians were injured” – who cares whether they were Australians or not! They’re still all human beings! Almost 200 people were injured and almost 20 killed! That’s a hell of a lot of people dying!; and Australians always sit there and say things like “What have we done to them to deserve this?” – there is no “them” and “us” – there are humans and humans and until we realise this there will always be things like this happening.

We try to be the America of the Pacific. We have the smallest numbers and yet we talk the loudest. The Americans at least have some weapons to back up their loudmouthing – even if they could be wiped out easily by any number of countries, the only thing saving them is the intelligence of the other countries. Australia has nothing to back its quick talking. Indonesia has an army larger than our entire population – and yet we have been trying to bully them since the 1970’s. What gives us the right to even attempt to control them? They don’t try and bully us – and yet, by shear numbers alone, they would have more right to.

Australians are a narrow minded people who, more often than not, resort to mimicking other introverted countries rather than thinking for themselves. The “pioneering” spirit of innovation has been long gone in Australia. We copy countries like America and England. It is no wonder that Indonesians have beef with us – we are essentially a defacto state of either and/or both.

Afghanistan – we were first to sign up and our Prime Minister was there in the background every time they mentioned “America” jumping up and down saying “and Australia! And Australia! Count me in! Don’t forget me!”

Iraq – the very same thing happened.

They burn Australian, American, and English flags in the streets of these occupied countries. They don’t burn Spanish flags – even though they had more troops than the Australians at one stage. They don’t burn Turkish flags. They don’t burn Japanese flags. They don’t burn any flags but Australian, American, and English.

We make ourselves a target by trying to align ourselves so closely to these other countries – we copy everything they do. We support their every decision without any thought. Why? Why is it that we cannot think for ourselves? Why is it that we try and copy these countries? Why is it that we look to them for recognition? What is it about our country that makes us not accept anything as alright unless one of these two countries has already done it first?

Why have we aligned ourselves with countries that are so lacking in innovation? It makes no sense at all. Is the white is right west is best attitude all that is running through our minds? If there is more to it – what is it?

There is no monetary gain for us with trading with America. There is no monetary gain for us going to war along side America. There is no monetary gain for us trading with England. There is no monetary gain for us going to war along side England. We lose in every trade deal we do with America – and yet what are we doing now? Creating a free trade agreement that works in such a way that America has complete free trade into our country, but we have little or no access to theirs. The barriers that are in place against us will remain for another few decades – where the hell is the “free trade agreement” in the “free trade agreement”?

Every bomb we drop in the name of America they make us pay for. Every plane we fly in the name of America they make us buy the fuel for. Every soldier we send to fight in the name of America they make us feed and cloth. Where is our gain? What do we gain out of any of this? You may think it selfish to even ask this – but what do we gain?

We think we gain the protection from anyone if we align ourselves with the mighty US armed forces – but protection from whom?. The evil communist Asians they told everyone spook stories about in the 60’s? They have already won the war. Japan realised that if they played their cards right they could buy the world – and at one stage they did. Will the US armed forces protect us? No way in hell. They do not go to war unless there is something that they can gain from it. If Australia were to go to war it would have to be with our neighbours – either Indonesia or New Zealand – and both of these countries are more valuable to America than Australia is. So monetarily speaking it would be in their best interest to back those countries.

Why?

Rearviewmirror - Pearl Jam

I took a drive today. Time to emancipate.
I guess it was the beatings, made me wise.
But I'm not about to give thanks or apologize.

I couldn't breathe. Holding me down.
Hand on my face. Pushed to the ground.
Enmity gauged. United by fear.
Forced to endure what I could not forgive.

I seem to look away. The wounds in the mirror waved.
It wasn't my surface. Most defiled.

Head at your feet. Fool to your crown.
Fist on my plate. Swallowed it down.
Enmity gauged. United by fear.
Tried to endure what I could not forgive. Yeah.

Saw things... ...clearer.
Saw things... ...clearer.
Saw things... ...clearer.
Saw things... ...clearer.
Oh, once you were in my Rearviewmirror.
I gathered speed from you fucking with me.
Once and for all I'm far away.
Hard to believe. Finally the shades are raised. Hey, yea.
Saw things so much clearer once you, once you... Rearviewmirror.
Saw things so much clearer once you, once you... Rearviewmirror.
Saw things so much clearer once you, once you... Rearviewmirror.
Saw things so much clearer once you... Oh yeah.

:P

"Atari to Reissue Scores of Old Games" (Headling stolen from AP - blurb after the end of this set of brackets not)

How cool is that? Sure I never actually had an Atari - but back in the day - we'd, my brother and myself, always make friends with people who we didn't really overly care for just to go over and play fun things like *cough* pac-man! Ah for the love of a mis-spent youth. The best thing about those type of games was that they required such persistance and yet they were so simple to understand. None of this bullshit storyline cut-scenes intermixed with game play intermixed with whiz-bang fandangled graphics making a game that just makes you get motion sickness without even having to move!

Thank god Atari has some sanity left in them. I can't wait to be playing two-tone coloured games again!

Oh my God! It's an Adam photo bonanza!

And after such a quality picture, we have a really bad one to balance it out:

And another picture for good measure:

.

Back in the day bands like: eminem (the entity – not the person a.k.a marshall mathers); Madonna; et. Al. used to put out fake *.mp3 songs. When I say fake, essentially, they were the introduction, followed by 2 minutes of dead time, followed by the chorus. More like an advertisement that would take the dial-uppers damn near half an hour to download and annoy them to no end when they got a fake song. This lead people to introduce additional *.mp3 information with the *.mp3s and there would be ones that would pop-up on the servers with “this is REEL – not FAKE” and other poorly spelt comments, again, but of course, these were usually the most fake of the lot.

There has been a trend I’ve noticed of late that Christian bands are masquerading as death metal, or thrash metal, or hardcore, or screamo bands. The people download the actual song they want and to their surprise are bombarded with some type of Christian rock. Deceitful? Indeed. Dishonest? Indeed – but not any more so than downloading *.mp3 to begin with. Christian? It all depends on your definition of what it means to be “Christian”.

"Fathers will bury their children, and after 40 days (the Orthodox mourning period) ... they will take up weapons and seek revenge," said Alan Kargiyev, a 20-year-old university student in Vladikavkaz. (AP)

Was reading an article on Space.com about how they think they might have found some type of alien communication. The article loosely says that it could be one of the following three: 1) something in space that we don't know about - obviously this really narrows it down considering we really don't know much about outer space to begin with, hence, the reason we study it; 2) aliens; or 3) the telescope apparatus sending itself a signal.

Hmm....sounds like it must be aliens to me! :)

An extract from "Know Your Enemy" by Rage Against the Machine:


...I’ve got no patience now
So sick of complacence now
I’ve got no patience now
So sick of complacence now
Sick of sick of sick of sick of you
Time has come to pay...
Know your enemy!

Come on!
Yes I know my enemies
They’re the teachers who taught me to fight me
Compromise, conformity, assimilation, submission
Ignorance, hypocrisy, brutality, the elite
All of which are american dreams....
All of which are american dreams....
All of which are american dreams....
All of which are american dreams....
All of which are american dreams....
All of which are american dreams....
All of which are american dreams....
All of which are american dreams....

www.theage.com.au/:

Russian authorities said the bloody end to the standoff came after explosions apparently set off by the militants - possibly by accident - as emergency workers were entering the school to collect the bodies of slain hostages.

As hostages took their chance to flee, the militants opened fire on them, and security forces - along with town residents who had brought their own weapons - opened covering fire to help the hostages escape.

Commandos stormed into the building and secured it, then chased fleeing militants in the town, with shooting lasting for 10 hours.

As morbid and sad an event as this is - it reminds me of the type of shoot-out that you hope for at the end of a Tarantino film or Guy Ritchie movie or Sopranos episode where all of the gangsters get caught in some type of crossfire with the police and almost everyone dies. A Clock Work Orange anyone? I think I'll have some citrus.

Ms Universe in all her glory:




Ok - so there was a wardrobe malfunction - again - call me crazy, as many of you already do, but she's wearing a see-through dress over the top of dark underwear; whether the dress is up or down you can see just as much of her. Really? What the hell is she all worried about?

Notice how happy the compare is to see the show? ;) The old lady in the background is just yawning - she's probably her mother and seen it all before.