My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

Here i sit in my new flat for the first typing into this god forsaken blog. For those of you in the inner loop - I still have no fridge and/or washing machine after it being "in stock" and "on order" for two (2) weeks! Apparently they are to arrive on Monday or Tuesday - I on the other hand feel as though I'm being ripped off.

My new flat is rather snazzy though - large kitchen/living/lounge room and the best part is that the bathroom is big enough to have four (4) in the shower, three (3) in the bath, six (6) people in the change-room part of it and still be able to invite over a football team for a mass orgy!

The carpet has been well thought-out as well: brown and light brown splotches. Port Macquarie has dirt that goes the colour of blood when it gets wet, and yet, all of the places in Port Macquarie seem to have white or cream carpet - the carpet here is such a colour that you could go frolick naked in the mud with a pack of pigs (do pigs live in packs? what is a group of pigs called? A sty?) then come in here and roll around naked on the floor with your pig breatheren and still not stain the capet in a noticeable way!

Ah - now all I have to do is wait until I can get the appliances that put me into this century.