My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

Greg tried to break into our house today two days after being kicked out for good. A man who has never been known for his tact, Greg left cigarette ash, and left the one lock he could open unlocked before giving up and leaving. He stole my shampoo before he left as well - it's not like I use it that much, I shave my hair off short for that very reason, but it is nice to know that when I do want to wash my hair there is something to use. I wonder how many other small things have gone missing here and there that he has packed up with him before he left?

"I believe in the brotherhood of man and the uniqueness of the individual. But if you ask me to prove what I believe, I can't. You know them to be true but you could spend a whole lifetime without being able to prove them. The mind can proceed only so far upon what it knows and can prove. There comes a point where the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge, but can never prove how it got there. All great discoveries have involved such a leap." - Einstein

It took me damn near 20 mins to start to cook dinner tonight. I froze the meat in a large chunk before separating it. So I was there with a knife hacking away at it all trying to get a meal sized portion - there's like little bits of meat all over the kitchen now that ended up flinging everywhere! :)

I saw my first wild koala in Port Macquarie the other night. Everyone else tells me they see them all the time, I was begining to think the Port koalas were a myth, a legend, a ghost story parents tell their children so that when they grow up and become developers they think twice before cutting down another forest to put up a block of flats...but I actually saw one! and not only did I see one, but it was the first koala I've ever seen that was walking! he wasn't doped out on some form of eucalyptus or another...he was moving!

What is it with the authorities? They are saying that political assasin Ngo might have links with criminals, might be manipulating people to do what he wants them to do, MIGHT be influencing prison guards and prisoners...

"We believe he's recruited and has been paying other inmates to do anything that he might want them to do," Mr Kelly said.

They are talking about a person who organised a Chinese New Years Party for guards and prisoners with alcohol, lavish food, etc etc, all the time while being in a maximum security freaking gaol (jail)! There's no MIGHT about it! Anyone who can turn a gaol into a party prison obviously has been influencing someone somewhere! They are talking about a political assasin! he OBVIOUSLY has links with criminals!

I got attacked by wild foxes while walking home in port macquarie! who'd have ever thought that? it's like i'm living in England or some hippy place like that!

The worst part about the clay was that it would stick to your shoes...then you'd get sticks stick to the clay...then more clay would stick to the sticks...so it was like you were walking around on clay-platform shoes damn near 30 cm high!

To paraphrase Jack in 24....this has been the longest week of my life...and I can damn well understand why he's saying it's the longest day in his life...24 hrs with no food or drink is a damn long time..although it does explain why they never go to the toilet either...

I've been working back to between 5-6 most nights this week. I had a 10 hr conference at Taree as well - which didn't help my sleep deprivation. The conference was interesting: buildings, designers, developers, council, planners, etc; with a consortium of people shit throwing back and fourth blaming each other for the problems with the world.

Developer: "How much does it cost?"
Council: "A higher outlay upfront, but over 50 years the cost is the same"
Developer: " I don't care about 50 years time, my subdivision will be out of my hands in 2"
Developer: "Do I have to care for the environment? is there legislation?"
Council: "Yes there is"
Developer: "Is it enforced?"
Council: "We didn't join council to become police"
Developer: "So it costs more to me and is not enforced?"
Conference Leader: "It is good for the environment!!!!"
Builder: "We're clear felling subdivisions and puting up houses - the environment doesnt' even come into play at all!"

And so the shit throwing continued...

The end of the day had council arguing with each other over the strictness of the specifications in different council areas and to top it all off - we had to go on a tour of a dam that had 6 m of clay all around it..so my shoes are ruined after treading through clay up to my damn knees!

I hope that one day these people realise that with no environment left, there will be no people. We are a part of our environment, and it is part of us. The sooner we stop the them and us attitude the sooner we will come to terms with this.

I've won my second ebay auction ever! :( I didn't even want to win it, but alas, win it I did. My LP will be in the mail tomorrow.

The weekend was really good. My brother and I have talked the most we've talked in a very long time. He has, for the first time, accepted that he has had problems with himself and his life in the past. He has, again for the first time, accepted that it is not too late to change and try to get back some of what he is missing in life. It sounds like, if things go according to plan, that his life will be back on the proverbial track - which for him, and my family is a good thing - now if only he can work out where the track he is on will lead him.

For some reason over the weekend my brothers girlfriends father decided he would chop down our back tree that has been there as a dead "treehouse" type monster since my father and his friend decided to drunkenly "prune it"...they ruined the fence, the bbq, the shed, and the clothesline all in the one day with tree branches the first time they chopped it. so this time had a lot to live up to....so said tree has been aging in a dead state for 15 years and is quite hard...so "the boys" decided they were all tough and would chop it down with a chainsaw...

spectator count = 9 men watching
worker count = 1 guy sharpening chainsaw
tree= perfect condition

1 hr later....6 beers later...work begins....

specator count = 14 men watching
worker count = 1 guy chainsawing the tree
tree = looks like it has been chewed on by a dog

1 carton of beer later....5 hrs later...
spectator count = 5 men watching...
worker count = 1 guy chainsawing the tree....
tree = appears as though someone has been trying to chop it down with a chainsaw

7 hrs later...6 beers later...

spectator count = 7 men "supervising" and offering suggestions of how to chop it down...
worker count = 1 guy chainsawing the tree who after 7 hrs has all but lost hope of chopping it down...
tree = still standing upright with chainsaw marks almost up to a quarter way through it.

the saga shall continue another day with me back in port macquarie oblivious to the happenings....I could have chopped the tree down myself with a saw and axe the old fashioned way in less time than it took them...but no one was willing to even let me try because if the "chain saw" couldn't do it - how could I? they have such little faith in how far determination can take a man.

Greg was huffing and puffing like I was inconveniencing him by doing my washing on MY WASHING day. He was pacing, he was throwing my stuff out of the laundry basket so he could use it while I was part-way through doing it. Sometimes I wonder about the sanity of that man. I often wonder about my own sanity, but every so often I wonder about his.

It has been threatened to make a come back before, it has been talked about, it was all the rage for a week, now in all it's former glory - the fridge check list has been again posted on the fridge!


1. Question: Has the entire contents of the fridge melted into oblivion again?
Answer: YES, go to 2; NO, everything is OK, thank you kindly for your time and effort.
2. Question: Has the fridge been left swinging open a whole 2 inches for half a day again?
Answer: YES, close the fridge ASAP!; NO, go to 3.
3. Question: Does the fridge need defrosting?
Answer: YES, defrost the fridge ASAP!; NO, go to 4.
4. Question: Is the freezer filled to the brink of bursting?
Answer: YES, rearrange, take advantage of any spare room in the other freezer or empty it; NO, go to 5.
5. Question: Are you sure the fridge was closed, it’s defrosted (or been defrosted recently), is not overfull and yet it has still melted?
Answer: YES, buy a new fridge; NO, go to 1.

Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth making goals - because the more you make them, the more they change, the more they can not be achieved, the bigger the upset. Although the alternative is paramount to sticking your head in the ground like an ostrich and hoping that lion will not see you.

She lies and says she's in love with him. Can't find a better man.
She dreams in color, she dreams in red. Can't find a better man.
Can't find a better man.

My head hurts. This week I have been doing a lot of thinking about where my life is heading - and I've realised it is not heading anywhere. I lost drive and focus half way through university - my goals changed from trying to go well at unviersity, to just get the hell out of it anyway I could with some kind of degree behind my name to show for the hours of work and money. Now, I find myself re-assessing my goals in life, and I have found, that to re-assess my goals in life I need to actually get some.

At this stage my short term goal in life was to save 10,000 for puting towards a deposit for some form of residential property by the end of the year - this has changed. Now, my short term goal in life is to negotiate my job contract to the amount of money I was initially "offered subject to negotiation".

My long term goal was to own several properties, rent them out, and live off the earnings, along with owning a small business. I realise that if these goals were ever achieved, I would be wanting bigger and better things, more and more goals to achieve - but for now, I am aiming small - defeatist? perhaps, but I look at it more as taking one step at a time..after all you need a foundation to build anything solidly on.

While my properties are making money - I shall be travelling the world...that's the plan...but the ultimate goal? there is none. How I'm going to achieve these steps in the ladder? Not by working for nothing, not by working for someone else, not by living here. Will I do anything about trying to make a difference to my life? I think at this stage I'll give it 3 years and see if things change for the better - but will I even get the chance to give it 3 years? We shall find out in the coming weeks.

My increase in wage after my 6 month probation period is a decrease in wage with 10% of any profit I make for the company coming back to me in bonuses. I have completed my higher school education, gone to university, and come out of university after 4 yeas with a current wage that is half that of what I earned straight out of highschool. I have now completed my 6 month probation period and am being offered less of a base wage than I currently have. At this rate by the time I'm 30 I'll be getting minimum wage doing double shifts serving people coffee at macdonalds!

Oh the joys of an education system that has no more purpose than to decrease the unemployment rate. One of these days, if ever given the chance, I vow to create an education system that not only educates, but that prepares people for the work force...

Why is it when family members are dying - the only thing on peoples minds is how much their cut is in the estate? "Loved ones" "Family" "Friends" all circle around the carcus while it is still whole, each trying to get their pound of flesh. It is sickening!

My Uncle is dying of cancer. I'm not sure what is going through his mind. I'm not sure if he is stupid enough that he thinks he can beat cancer like you shake off a cold. I'm not sure if he is being overly optimistic. I'm not sure if he is trying to ignore it hoping it will go away. I'm not sure if going to work each day, and continually checking himself out of hospital from his death bed is the only way he can deal with it by trying to keep a normal routine. I'm not sure if he understands how bad his cancer is.

I think it is good that he is so optimistic and is talking about "next week" "next year" "the year after next" - but optimism can only take you so far! Sooner or later the cancer will still win, and with him not doing anything to stop it, I fear it will win sooner rather than later.

He is a trooper - I'll give him that. He is still going to work - a physically demanding job at that. He continually checks himself out of hospital, and refuses pain medication. He can't sleep from the pain, or it gets to the point where he passes out from it.

I've not seen him for a long time. I'm not sure if i want to see him. I guess I'm being selfish. One of the biggest regrets I have in my life was not telling Mr Wade that I loved him before he died of cancer - I couldn't bring myself to see him in the hollow faced, chest caved state he was in. I wanted to remember him the way I remember him now - full of life. He was like a grandfather to me - and like I said, it was the biggest regret of my life, but at the same time, I have always told myself, that if I ever had my time over, I guess I would do the same thing - I just don't want to remember people as they are in their dying days.

Here I sit with the same problem with my Uncle. I want to see him, but I know all I will do is cry, and crying infront of someone who is trying to "shake off" cancer is not exactly a great way of filling them with hope. I want to see him, but I want to remember him as I remember him now, I don't want the image in my mind of my Uncle to be of a sickly dying man who is incoherent from pain and riddled with cancer. I want to see him so I can tell him I love him. However, I want to remember him full of life.

I didn't want to be faced with a problem like this again in my lifetime. I didn't want to be forced between making the right decision for my them, and the right decision for my own selfish reasons. How do you comfort someone who is going to die that isn't willing to admit or accept it?

I just don't know what to do, but alas, I do know that whatever decision I make I will regret for the rest of my life again.

p.s I ended up re-installing windows over the top of windows, Ok - so it's the stupidest thing ever to do, and it never works because the screwed up file never gets replaced because windows only replaces the missing files, and usually ruins the computer to the point of having to reformat - but the 3rd time of reinstalling it in a row - it worked - I used an old registry backup file from february - I had to reinstall the sound card drivers, and I had to reinstall anti-virus and firewall programs...everything else works honky dory...it's not as stable as it used to be...but hell...it's more stable than any windows XP desktop I've ever had the misfortune of using, and has not crashed all day!

Happy Happy! Joy Joy! Happy Happy! Joy Joy!

My computer crashed so I have to reinstall everything - I'm currently using a previous backed up registry file to run on - but things are not going to plan and it is highly unstable. So I will have to re-format and start afresh so everything is back online and in tip-top shape!

I just hope i can manage to back everything up before it kicks the bucket again....

And to make things worse - M$ is FUBR! I can't update my version of IE because the one that comes with Windows 98 is version 4.0, and it requires version 5.5 before the update site will work! so that leaves me in a catch 22 situation...but not now, not ever will I ever succumb to using the pure evil that is windows XP, i have to put up with it's childish behaviour at work...I'm not puting up with it at home as well...

Sometimes I wonder if people really can be rehabilitated. Violence or some kind of emotional trauma tend to cause a pre-disposition for a person to become a violent criminal - but violence or emotional trauma doesn't always lead to criminal behaviour, infact, often the contrary is true. A person who is heavily traumatised, may infact: regress into a child like behaviour; become very shy, timid, and submissive; and even withdraw from society altogether, admittingly not unlike some serial killers, but again not every shy timid withdrawn person goes on a depraved killing spree.

With violence or emotional trauma causing this dichotomy of events, would not the oppositte also be true? Being nice to a person, talking through problems with a person, "rehabilitating" a person, would there not be a dichotomy of outcomes from such a program? I know if I was talking through my problems with a person who didn't care to listen but was simply there because as a youth they felt that they had something to offer the world of counselling, not for the benefit of the counsellee, but so they could gain some self confidence and improve their self esteem (somewhat) by feeling good that they are "helping" less fortunate persons than themselves then I would feel more and more empty and depressed. Having a person "rehabilitate" or counsell you, in my opinion, and I stress this is purely my opinion, as I have nothing but what I perceive to be common sense, and (I hope) some empathetic understanding to back up anything I have said, would only work if you were convinced the person was there to help you - rather than to improve their self esteem, talk through their problems, or as a paid form of employment..

Rehabilitation is something I'm not sure can be achieved with all people - but at the same time, I'm sure some can be rehabilitated, because for every person out there who realises what most counsellors are about, there are at least five in blissful ignorance. And while rehabiliation has never properly been tried on a large scale, some would say never properly tried at all, I do believe it is heavily limited in it's effectiveness.

Jail is another issue. On a purely economical point of view, I feel that the death penalty is a much better solution than keeping someone for life in prison, but even the death penalty is costly with the amount of legal challenges the people are allowed. At the same time, if you kill a person right away, and it is the wrong person, then there is a major tragedy that I hope would play on the minds of those responsible for eternity - even if this is not the case, for the justice system is not about finding the truth: it is about finding someone to blame to make the victims families feel a sense of completeness; it is about making the public feel safer that someone else "bad" is off the streets; and it is about the employees of the justice system feeling better that they have made a difference to the world for the better.

As a form of punishment, isn't forcing a person to live like a caged animal, deprived of all human dignity, with the constant reminder of what they have committed plaguing their dreams, for a long time, much harsher than simply killing them? I believe it can be - but just as rehabilitation works for some and not others, so would a long time in prison. Before a person is going to be affected by remorse, then they must at least aknowledge they have done the crime, that the crime was wrong to do, and it must be a personalised crime - a nameless, faceless, victim will not achieve any remorse from most. To feel remorse, even with the aforementioned criterium in place, the person would have to be of sound mind. So what to do? I believe that if a person is shown to have remorse, then life in prison would be a far better punishment than any death penality - a death penalty to someone who is remorseful, may even be seen by them as a good thing. However, if the person can show no remorse for what they have done then forcing a person to be in jail for life is a very expensive exercise.....

Today was good. Call me crazy - but this time I'm not giving up :).

Y está con una observación absurda de la partida, algunas líneas escritas en un idioma extranjero que le hago una oferta toda la buena noche

And it is with an absurd observation of the game, some lines written in a foreign language that I do a supply all the good night to him

Somehow the entire meaning was lost in the translation - but then again, I am using a free online translator - can't expect something for nothing these days, even if the best things in life are free!

Rumsfeld says:

"Now that is not always true.

Think of the B fifty-two.

It's still flying just fine, thank you.

And so am I ... thank you."

He's going to end up giving Bu$h a run for his money if he keeps up with such succinct poetry...

Rumsfeld says:

"She said she had a question

And she asked three

I asked for an easy one

And she gave me a tough three."

He's a genius! A genius!

Rumsfeld says : "As we know,


There are known knowns.


There are things we know we know.


We also know


There are known unknowns.


That is to say


We know there are some things


We do not know.


But there are unknown unknowns


The ones we don't know we know."

Now that is music to my ears.....

Another suicide bomber has struck in Israel and it has come as surprise to no one other than the Israeli Prime Minister who can't seem to understand that by sending in an army to fight boys with sticks it will achieve nothing but more violence....

My poor QLD lost easily in the end after a long and valiant battle...

but on the upside - Andrew Johns didn't get man of the match, so it was still a good game...

On a side note (infact so to the side it has nothing to do with the previous statement at all): why is it that so many countries are so quick to say that democracy is the only fair form of government? why is it that so many countries are so quick to declare they are a democracy when none of them are? Is the USA a democracy? No - it is a republic that has a presidential democracy that verges on a plutocracy with the minority rich leading the majority poor. Is Australia a democracy? No - it is a federal commonwealth with a representative democracy system that inevitably leads to minority parties having the control of parliment. Is England a democracy? No...with America not being a democracy - why is it that they are so quick to try and force "regime" change to "bring democracy to the people" when it is something they have not achieved, and have no intention of achieving in their own country? Can Democracy work? Probably not, or otherwise someone would have tried it. Can Communism work? We've already seen that in its purest form that it fails - what no one seems to understand is that the forms of government we are parading around as Democracy have more in common with Communism than anyone will ever admit.

America may have won the "cold war" battle - but Russia won the war before it had even begun.

It didn't rain, the birds were singing, eating, and crapping merrily over my car and it's the state of origin game tonight - could things be better? Of course. Am I content with them the way they are for the moment? Yes.

The highlight of my day was being abuse by the lady from Terra Consulting - I really can't understand how that company stays in business - they never return my calls, they are rude, abusive, and arrogant.

I've been offered a 50% off a 3 day vacation voucher - all I need is 3 days off, and someone to go on holidays with - any takers? I thought not - but asking questions to an inanimate screen isn't exactly the best way to get replies for anything.

And in state of origin news we have 2 teams who are meant to be made up of the best players from each state - but there are many problems with both teams............

We have the bulk of players made up from the Newcastle Knights, who are going pathetic this year, the top side in the competition is Canberra Raiders - they have no players in the NSW team, the other top sides don't seem to be represented either.

The players who are in both teams have all but a handful had poor club form. Why is it that sporting teams, political teams, acting teams, and just teams in general always seem to be chosen based on who they are, rather than what they can achieve?

You don't buy a stock that has been performing badly the past year but went well on one day, you don't hire a person who has pulled off one task well but underachieves the rest of the time - so why would you choose 2 teams of players to represent your state who have not had recent good form? It astounds me the amount of times they poorly choose teams of any kind, then wonder why they underperform. Alas, I am but a mere engineer, what do I know about choosing anything? I couldn't even choose my own career path properly!

Call it irony, or just bad karma - but yesterday I got charged for speeding - the only problem was, it was the one time on the trip I wasn't actually speeding !

I figured it's evened its self out, I speed and don't get caught, I get caught and don't speed....I just hope that it was the only ticket I got yesterday !

Another day has gone by: another country has been overthrown by one ruthless blood thirsty tyrant to be replaced by another; another thousand children have died of starvation; another 80,000 Ha of forest have been destroyed never to return until the death of mankind; another "cure for aids" has been discovered, another "cure for aids" has been discredited; another case of "monkey pox" has been found in america; another teacher has been caught molesting a child and "not charged due to insufficient evidence, no reported crime, and (apparently) no victim"; another senate enquiry shows there was flaws in the "intelligence" after the original one decided that it was ok to go to war; another drug addict dies, alone, rejected by society, and missed by none; another drug addict is paid $10 million for doing a movie; and alas, another boring monotonous repetitive pessimistic thought from Adam gets typed up....

....while the world sits and waits for it's inevitable self-destruction I have been re-writing Traffic Plans, designing retaining walls, photocopying tender documents, doing weights, and trying to work out whether a "shiatsu" massage girl who told me my lower back wasn't right is on the mark, or not....

I give the "Shiatsu" girl full credit for finding that their was a recent problem, but the extent of it I'm not sure about. So, being at a fair that had "free chiropractic examinations", I thought I'd let one of them look at it - now, don't get me wrong, I've never had much faith in a Chiropractor's lack of medical training, and I know full well that most of what they do is actually bad for you if done excessively and can easily be done at home for free - but it was "free". The best the "Chiropractor" could do was push right into the small of my back until it hurt me, I should point out, there was no pain until he inflicted it, then he said I have major problems and if they're not seen to straight away by making a booking with him, that I will get constipation! So, the moral to this story, well what little moral I can draw from this rambling, is that not only are chiropractors stupid and poorly trained but are resorting to inflicting pain on gullible people in a half assed attempt at trying to drum up business!

And now, I must either get dressed, turn the heater on, or go to bed....the t-shirt and pj pants doesn't seem to cut it anymore now it's mid-winter....since the heater is too far to reach, I'm yawning, and there's no point in dirtying more washing...

bed time it is! g'night cruel world....parting is such sweet sorrow...

I really don’t think I’m cut out for road design. There is so much to it that I just don’t seem to understand why it is done the way it is done. A 1km road can be designed and drawn in half a day with any number of software packages developed specifically for it. The vertical and horizontal curves are designed and drawn to be accurate to within the millimetre. The levels are calculated to the millimetre. The set out points for the vertical and horizontal curves are calculated and shown on a long section to the millimetre. Cross sections are provided every 20 metres on the straights, and 15 metres on the curves; these are drawn to the millimetre.

The RTA design guide “recommendations” are all taken into account for horizontal and vertical curve radii for the specified design speed are calculated to the millimetre. The lengths of any guardrails, overtaking lanes, offsets from obstructions are calculated to the millimetre. The total design of the road can take between 1 day to 2 weeks, with everything drawn meticulously, and exact to the millimetre.

The plans are handed over to the project manager well thought out, designed with engineering knowledge, drawing on the years of practical knowledge that design standards offer, exact to the millimetre. The project manager hands the designs over to the construction engineer, exact to the millimetre. The construction engineer redesigns the entire road on the back of the well designed plans using a pencil in 3 minutes flat.

The construction engineer sends out his workforce with his adapted plan. The driver constructs the road exact to the nearest metre. 1 week of proper design, 3 minutes of re-design, and thousands of dollars of tax dollar later – we have a road that is expensive, below standard, and looks crooked! Proving once again, the road to hell was paved with good intentions......

Today was fantastic! A bit of positive thinking (apparently) can go a long way, well a bit of positive thinking, a bit of self delusion, and a lot of coffee!

I know exactly where I'm headed with my project - I just don't know what I have to do, or how I go about it - hopefully tomorrow I will fit another piece into the puzzle....this week working out what it is I am being paid for, next week I shall take over the world! *evil laugh*

on a side note: what is it with mormon feeling the need to convert people to their religion? what is it with all religions feeling the need to convert people to their religion? are they all afraid if they don't recruit now for the future that relgion as they know it will end? don't they realise that no matter what they do, their religion will either change with the times or be wiped out? will religion ever not exist? I don't think so and while I'm not relgious, and have very little faith, I can see that it has a place in this world to give hope where previously there was none and for that reason alone I feel, some what regrettably, it will always be with us.

It was another one of those days - I guess with two of those days in a row, it makes it almost one of those weeks, but what little optimist there is in me is clinging onto the faint hope that it will somehow turn around by tomorrow.

I've been contracted out to the Council to work on a part-time basis to come up with a new procedural plan and organisation for their asset management, survey & design, environmental dept, engineering division, etc etc...for 3 hrs today I sat there scribbling on a piece of paper contemplating exactly what it is I have to do - I just hope that the next 3 hrs when I go back tomorrow I have some kind of divine intervention that bestows upon me the gift of mind reading so I can at least have an inkling of an idea of what exactly I am being paid to do....I feel like George on Seinfeld where he would walk around all episode asking different people trying to work out exactly what he was meant to be working on! (the only draw back is I don't have a sleeping space in my desk as well).

I'm sitting here with a 9:30 pm shadow on my face in my flannelette pajamas, I've not eaten all day except for some steamed vegies for lunch, but right now I don't have the energy to cook - I barely have the energy to type, infact I was going to go right home and into bed....I shortly will.

Furthermore, today is the day I have given up. Given up on what I hear you ask? well, ok so I don't hear you ask at all because there isn't really anyone out there actually reading this unless they've stumbled across it by shear accident but for the purposes of a pointless rhetorical question we shall say there is someone reading...but alas I guess it doesn't much matter what I've given up on, but more to the point, the fact I have. I have given up.

Tomorrow shall be a fantastic day, if for no other reason, than I just hope it is.

Dear Diary.....ok I'm never starting with this again...but I figured it'd be as good a place as any to start....and it makes it seem all dougie housery and stuff...(or was it parker lewis? or one of those 80's afternoon tv shows...I'm buggered if I can remember)

Today was the first day for a long time that it didn't rain, for most of the day, UNTIL, I was standing outside waiting to be picked up for APEX, but alas, I can no more control the elements than I can control my wacky remote control that the buttons stick down - it is forever coming up with new and exciting moments to turn on-off and change channels!

Today was one of those days. I turned my alarm off instead of hitting "snooze" so i woke up with 10 mins to get dressed and get to work - it all turned out fine and i, apart from the boss, was the first there! he even commented on my good attitude! but, the compliments stopped there. Today i redrew the one drawing 5 times - 5 times i did exactly what my boss told me to do - 5 times my boss decided that it needed to be changed because i'd done it wrongly - 5 times I used my best diplomatic efforts to try and save myself from taking the blame for doing things as he said, while at the same time, not trying to put the blame on him - that takes a lot of careful planning of words, it's enough to give anyone a headache!

I was looking at ordering a Dell computer online today - question 4 - do you intend to use this computer to manufacturer, deploy, or used weapons of mass destruction?, I was tempted to say yes just to test the system out, but because I was merely after a price for a laptop, I figured I'd be better to avoid the CIA kicking my door down.

The whole world has gone crazy! 3 years ago no one had even coined the term "weapons of mass destruction", now, "WMD" or "WOMD" is a known abbreviation that no one thinks twice about! It's crazy! crazy! crazy! Osama Bin Laden has been a wanted terrorist for at least 10 years, and no one seemed to care about him until he took refuge in a country that America wanted to build a freakin' oil pipeline through! Sadaam Hussein has been a ruthless leader put into power by America for decades, and no body seemed to care about him until America wanted to get some more oil reserves as their's run out in the next few decades, unless of course, they resort to mining national parks in alaska, which will happen sooner or later as the megamachine engulfs the worlds resources.....all the talk about a war in Iran and Syria and North Korea....all of this talk of a war on terrorism...it's crazy...retaliation creates terror, terror breeds hate, hate breeds violence, violence breeds terrorism, terrorism breeds more retaliation...everyone can see this, everyone knows this...when will some leader have the time to stand up for what he knows is true? when will someone take a no war stance? by creating regime change in countries where the people hero worship their leaders, by killing the fathers of their children, by bombing a country, such as Iraq that has more women and children than men, how will America ever stop people growing up hoping to destroy them? It is obvious the rest of the world wants what America has, food, water, electricity (well except for the west coast heheheh), but while America keeps bombing them they'll never have it, and will grow more and more bitter.

Today is the day I am officially declaring my back not injured anymore. The injury? pulled muscle; The cure? one week of pigging out, doing no exercise, and 2 physio sessions. Sure it still really hurts, but it doesn't hurt enough to wake me up anymore, or doesn't hurt enough to stop me doing things anymore, so as far as I'm concerned - not injured.