My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

I came up with the crazy idea of doing my washing from last night earlier this morning to help get rid of the smoke addled pub-stench while I showered, then went to get some breakfast...in theory it should have went according to plan.

Naked with nothing but a towel conveniently placed I was turning the place upside down looking for my wallet. I checked my trousers from last night to see if it was in them - it was then when a feeling of dread and despair went through me. The motherfucker's were in the washing machine going around in sudsy-front-filled-washing-machine-circles.

This washing machine issue created a dilemma - do I : A) open up the washing machine and have water flow all over the laundry; or B) wait another hr to get my wallet back.

I let my stomach do the talking and i now have a fully mopped laundry - I have actually multi-tasked without even trying.

Who the hell ever said men cannot do two things at once?

The reason native fauna is becoming extinct is more than likely due to the following:

Step 1: Car drives forwards - possum is hit by the two (2) left wheels;
Step 2: Car reverses - possum is hit by the two (2) left wheels;
Step 3: Car drives forwards, again to correct the position a little - possum is hit by the two (2) left wheels;
Step 4: Car reverses - possum is hit by the two (2) left wheels; and
Step 5: Car stops - driver gets out to see what it was he was running over and realizes it's a flat possum.

The damn possum let itself get run over eight-times at less than 5km/hr! At least I blame the possum, and I'm sticking to it....

My arm just went to sleep because I've been leaning on it while waiting for this page to load - after 15 minutes of timeouts, finally it is here, and now i have nothing to say? Ah the irony of it all.

Much to my shame, I'm actually becoming a fan of James Blunt. Not the music - but the person. He's so very humble, polite, well educated, and seems to be well meaning in all of his interviews which may explain why everyone says he is boring and bland as batshit; BUT this is well balanced with his tabloid alter-ego which would be best described as a drug fueled all night orgy loving sexploitative rebel.

Who the fuck knows which is the truer description of him? I'm somehow betting it's a little from both columns - either way he certainly seems to have more depth than most.

Today I find myself sitting here listening to mid-90's music (Smashing Pumpkins - before they imploded into a steaming pile of self absorbed shit) singing loudly "Despite all my rage I'm still just a rat in a cage!".

BUT more than that - I'm here in my old mid-90's corduroy trousers, now so worn and disheveled that they've worked there way back into fashion and reminiscing about the good old times....when things were less complicated.

It's always good to reminisce about the past in some type of half-arsed way with me gleefully feeling that it was so much better than things are today. I always remember the good being better than it was and the bad being worse - in reality things are pretty much the exact same now as they ever were back then. The more things change the more they stay the same.

About the only difference between now and then is that my work has me living vicariously through the weather report - fine weather makes me happy; raining weather has me stressed out biting my fingernails and pulling my hair out.