My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

I've got this rash on my arm, and a few other places, at the moment that sort of came out of nowhere. I cannot for the life of me work out what the catalyst for it was. I haven't changed soaps, or detergents, or anything...unless it was that new shirt I wore the other day, however, I had at least washed it before wearing first.

Today I went into the chemist and the conversation was like:

"I'd like some canesten cream"
"Why?"
"Because it's the only brandname cream I know of by name"
"Who for?"
"Me"
"Where's your rash?"
*Adam shows random chemist chick his rash on his arm, too modest, albeit only just, to show the random rash in other areas"
"How about we go with a broad spectrum cream that covers both fungal and other rashes?"
"Sounds good.."
"AND, *wink wink*, I'll give you this antihistamine that is four (4) times stronger than over the counter medications - it'll fix your rash right up"
"ummm...ok...but do I really need all of this?"
"Hell - why not - the more stuff you can whack into you the better - then you can stop scratching like a madman"
"Sounds good - sign me up"
*she winks again*

I have no idea what type of rash she thinks I have - but there was a lot of winking going on in that conversation. I'll say one thing for certain, she was the hottest chemist I've ever seen. It would be like a match made in heaven - smart, hot, and she can prescribe drugs for random rashes...it's win-win-win!