My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

We were talking today over lunch about the benefits of being Muslim, which are as follows:

1. You can have up to four (4) wives;
2. You're one of the enlightened ones; and
3. You can claim the "sky is falling" chicken little style because of all of your persecution by Christiandom.

I had no idea about the four (4) wife thing, however, the waitress at the cafe decided it was better to become a Mormon because of the following:

1. You can have more than four (4) wives; and
2. Apparently you pay little to no taxes (Myth? I presume so, either myth or waitress folklore, one or the other).

HOWEVER, my idea was that they both were ineffective and because you do not want multiple alimony and child support payments which will send you broke, hence, cult member is by far the better option. There's none of the constraints holding you back. Free as a bird!

Notice I said member and not leader? I figure it is better to be second in charge, you get to pull all the strings, and when it all goes pear-shaped you can deny all knowledge of "The Cult of Adam". Afterall, it's purely coincidental that it is named after me, I'm not even the leader, honest judge! Honest!