My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

The last flatmate, who was a female nurse, left because my other flatmate decided to pick on her - apparently, it's the little things about her that are annoying:

1. She would leave her shoes in the common area and he would occasionally trip on them [open your damn eyes];
2. She would leave a teabag in a mug overnight on the sink with the intention of putting it in the bin in the morning [wait till she puts it in the bin].

I have no idea why in the fuck he found these traits so bad.

She was a female nurse! I could put up with tripping on shoes and old teabags till the cows come home as long as she keeps having hot female nurse friends over! Surely this would negate these minor issues ? Is it possible my flatmate is gay? How does one really tell if someone is just "from the city" or is actually gay? Would it even matter? But alas, she has moved on.

Her replacement was an engineer. A male engineer, I should begrudgingly add. He moved in without paying rent or bond. Two weeks into the living arrangement still had paid neither rent or bond. One day prior to owing his next lot of rent broke the remote control and started punching holes in all of the walls and doors and threatening my other flatmate. He was removed by the police.

BUT on the upside - the female police officer who turned up was great! Never really had a thing for female police, their lesbian shaved heads sort of turn me off them for the most part - but not this one. We sat there on the lounge talking while watching Family Guy on DVD while the male officer was the go between both flatmates and helped the demolition man move out.

It seems the female nurse with hot nurse friends who also had hot beauty therapist friends who had hot hair dresser friends wasn't such a bad flatmate after all :)

The benefits of hindsight.

NEXT on the agenda is convincing my flatmate that a female South American exchange student, despite not having a job, surely will be a good investment for our future.