My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

I've been feeling nostalgic lately and starting to wonder what ever happened to all of my school friends...one of them rang me up the other day, apparently he's now a lawyer and had nothing better to do one day than sit down and google me for three (3) to four (4) hours before coming up trumps and then calling me at work the next day - not only calling at work, but wanting to talk for hours - I think the law industry must be slowwwwwww for the time being:

Yes it is I….Griff, however the Queenslanders have dubbed me one of there own and I am now known to many as…Azza.

The name didn’t sit easily after 17 years of Griffo, Griff and even shitface, but I have now accepted it as my own.

Its never easy being out with mates and being introduced to women as “Azza”. I think it’s an automatic handicap to have such a Bevan handle, but I have to give those chumps a head start most the time anyway.

Not that I get introduced to many women, I have been with my girlfriend Zoe for a few years now and we just bought a house at Morningside.

Domestication is upon me my friend. Fun used to be drinking beer through a funnel, now it’s picking out new flower arrangements for the living room.

To fill you in on the last 8 years or so, I left Wingham choosing to defer my education at the abattoirs and moved to Townsville. There, I started my law degree and tried to stay alive between keg parties, nude runs and eventually expulsion from the residential college that was stupid enough to board a 17 year old country kid from Wingham. Anyway, after a good stint in the ‘ville, it was time to move down to the big smoke.

I figure the ‘ville was like my apprenticeship to the city. I quickly realized that civilized people don’t act like people from Townsville, so after struggling with the concept of keeping your clothes on while drinking and the rule about not pissing at the bar where you stand, I began to find a place here in vegas.

By some miracle I finished law school in 2003 and I’ve had several bizarre jobs since then.

My favorite pre-graduation job would have to be demolition in Noosa. Sure the hippies were tough to deal with when we tried to knock down trees, but there is just something special about seeing the families of koalas run across the work site on their way to find a new home.

That was the first job I got fired from. Possibly second actually if I count the manager at Fossey’s Taree telling me “No, no, we’ll call you”.

The demolition manager said I broke too many tools. I tried to argue that I was too good at my job, but I was the only one who caught the irony.

Anyway, I was glad to l leave that one, the guy from Chile who couldn’t speak English nearly killed me half a dozen times. He would be up on the top storey of a building and would scream out something in Spanish that I couldn’t understand and then would throw a pile of bricks down almost on top of me. In the end I learnt to just get out of the way no matter what he said. I often wonder what became of Hoolio.

Post graduation I worked for some fucked up people that I could write about in several novels that could redefine self incrimination. Notably, one you might be familiar with being in finance is Nick Petroulias, the former wiz kid and youngest ever deputy commissioner of taxation. Yeah that didn’t turn out after he was arrested and tried for defrauding the Commonwealth. The jury failed to deliberate and the ATO has spent over $3M chasing him, but it was an adrenaline rush being alongside the hunt.

I worked for a few other firms in the beginning but have found a place in property and commercial law here at this firm, the details of which should be on the bottom of this email. It’s paying the bills and things seem stable which is nice.

So that just about brings you up to date.

Anyway mate, you now have my details so give me call and we will catch up for a drink, or I should have you round for a BBQ or something. The jumbuck 4 burner needs a good run.

i don't even know what the hell a jumbuck 4 burner even is - but hey any bbq that is meant to be known by first name only can't be such a bad bbq i guess.