My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

1. Pearl Jam are coming to Australia;

2. Two previously unknown miners escaped a mine they were trapped in while one man died - they are now heroes;

3. A bunch of people survived for 21 days up in a boat offshore with no food near the northern part of Australia - they remain almost nameless;

4. The liberal government is bringing up talk on "Nuclear power" to mask the real issues and are hoping the labour government implodes discussing something that is a mute point. It will take us decades to do anything serious in the nuclear world. Our two top nuclear scientists were trained in the 70's. We would either have to import new nuclear scientists or train new ones from scratch before we'd get anywhere, plus have to import the skilled labour. The only hope we have of doing anything nuclear is by importing Chinese immigrants and paying them in opium - it worked for the snowy mountain engineering corporation back in the day. We're such an equal opportunity employer in this glorious red neck country of mine;

5. I am ready to kill every single whinging member of the public - I do not know how much longer I can endure the torture that is the joys of public service;

6. My head hurts;

7. I am not getting married in a garden ceremony - the reception seemed more formal than the wedding! It was like a bunch of people hanging around in a garden - very odd and somehow sinister.

8. Newcastle real estate agents who open 7 days do not open on Sundays. Is Sunday not a day?