My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

The doctor's advice when he told me I had the flu went along the lines of:

Dr: "remember when you were young and your mother used to give you lemon, honey, and hot tea? Umm...let me re-phrase that...remember when you were young and your mother told you stories about how when she was sick that her mother would give her lemon, honey, and hot tea? Well - that's what I want you to do. If you want to - get some flu-strength lemsip from the pharmicist. Also make sure you drink some nips of brandy every few hours."

Dr: "When I let you go - rest, take the rest of the week off, stay away from children, mothers of young children, and old people" *extends hand to shake mine*
Dr: "g'luck with it all son."

Me: "I've not been in contact with children or old people until I came here - and you had me waiting for over 3 hrs it's too late now"
Dr: "Just make sure you don't infect any more people - they're already sick - that's why they're here!" *sly smile on his face*