My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

There's this former Chinese diplomat who has "defected to the west" in Australia at the moment trying to claim diplomatic refugee status. The government denied him. Then he comes out and says: "I have special secret assassins coming over from China to kill me!"

First of all - he's out here and keeps saying that he wants our government to protect him from the Chinese and put him into protection - and the way he asks for this protection is by puting his face out there on tv, his voice on radio and almost any media service that will talk to him while bad mouthing China - hell even I'd kill the guy to shut him up! It reminds me of the Simpsons episode where they're wearing t-shirts that read "we're in witness protection" or whatever they were. But if badmouthing an entire country on television while asking to be put into protective custody and seeking political asylum isn't bad enough his whole "secret assassin" thing takes the cake - they're not very secret if the guy they're after knows that they're after him!