My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

The bucks party was alright. I was expecting the right-wing christians to not know how to have fun on a bucks night - after all - if you take out the alcohol and the hookers/strippers there's usually not much left you can do on a bucks night.

The premise - Anthony had to complete a list of 10 things which was loosely as follows:

1. Purchase condoms.
The catch was that all he could say when purchasing them was "I love condoms". It went like this:

"How are you today?"
"I love condoms"
"That'll be $6.95"
"I love condoms"
"Have a good day"
"I love condomes"

The girl was quite distressed.

2. Walk from one side of Glendale (think yanksville style strip mall) to the other side of Glendale in nothing but his underwear.

The scary thing was there were old men yelling out in excitment: "Take it all off! Take it all off!"

3. Everytime there was a red light had to open up the car doors...get out and run around the car in cirles...this was lame, rather dangerous, and managed to get them in trouble with the police.

4. Wear a dress outside.

Originally he was to wait half an hour in a movie theatre line with a dress on - the trouble was - there was no one there waiting in line, and those who were, didn't even raise an eyebrow when they saw him in the dress. Apparantly those Charlestown people think nothing of a 6 foot burly man in a dress. So we went to the only place we could find where people were - a pub - it worked to his favour. He was being complimented and shouted beers by everyone. He really was the hit of the pub - ah the laughs we had at his expense.

5. Give a girl his phone number

This was the most bizarre thing. He managed to pull a girl at Hungry Jacks (i.e Burger King) aside as she was cleaning up outside. So he had to essentially stalk her outside. He gives her his number on a piece of paper after an awkward conversation along the lines of:

"You look nice. When do you get off work? Can I give you my number?"
"UMMmmmm..sure" *puts number into garbage she is cleaning up - walks straight inside - tells the manager - and he hides her outback as they move into emergency type procedures expecting Anthony to be some type of crazed stalker*

I cannot for the life of me manage how the hell he could be so awkward as to scare a girl so much. It's damn good that he's getting married - otherwise he'd have no hope in hell of picking up if fear is the only emotion he can get out of girls. For the record she looked NICE :)

6. Criticise the food - but compliment the waitress.

"That meat was a rough ride- but I like 'em rough" etc.

Again she managed to get weirded out. He certainly is a ladies man.

7,8,9,10 i have no idea what the rest were.

Ah - fun times.