My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

well...
let's see... the toilet thieves have struck a few more times. it's amusing in a "the gods must be crazy" way. they appear out of nowhere. they dissapear into thin air. they change places in a row, swapping spots in "line" when no one is looking. in fact it's all done when no one is looking. with as many people as we have walking around this place at any given time of day or night, I find it a little off that NOBODY and I mean NOBODY knows anything about why the toilets keep moving, where they go to when they dissapear, or when it even happens. nobody has ever seen an outhouse abduction actually occur, but we're all starting to wonder... I mean, an outhouse does not just push a magic red button that makes it implode until it feels like coming back, and at that, in whatever location it chooses. they have to be going somewhere, but nobody has ever seen one being moved, in any part of the process. no outhouse has ever been seen on a truck, forklift, flatbed, blackhawk (hey - ya never know), or any other possible form of transportation. none of these modes of transportation have been seen near them either. and I don't think that the s**t suckers (the trucks that suck the stuff out of the outhouses & put new blue stuff in them) are that powerful that they can just suck an outhouse up a 6" diameter hose and into their storage tank either. maybe they're performing some kind of ritualistic quest to try to appeal to the porcelain god of legends old, in hopes of becoming real toilets someday ...
I give up.