My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

I was told that my protein intake was half what it should have been - so tonight I bought eggs, chicken, fish, beans, and protein shake. The only trouble now is, the protein mix, which claims to have no flavour and actually tastes like vanilla,has gunked up my mouth in a sort of home-made glue type style. I'm going to have my lips sticking together for like the next hour! In hindsight, perhaps, I should have mixed it up with milk like it said rather than eating it straight - but that would have required actually buying milk...

At least this isn't as bad as the time I froze my sunglasses to my lip, or the time I froze an orange to my lip, or the time I froze my hand to a the top of the car...or the wanking accident incident...but they're all a story for another time.