My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

It was a good night last night. Although it's a little un-nerving for one to be taken out by a guy who just flew you to bourke because he was going to "show you" how to drink - the night before he was going to fly you home I might add - it was still a nice night out (well as nice a night out as two (2) guys in bourke can have I guess).

We ran into some other pilots - apparently pilots seem to just be attracted to each other and they talked their pilot talk about all their near death experiences. I just sat there stone-faced and clasping at my heart in terror - my hands were clenched tightly to the seat - and thankful we were on the ground, although by the end of the night, even the ground was moving before my very eyes.

I got back from the club and pretty much zonked out. In the middle of the night I'm there waking up in a hot, half drunken sticky, sweaty mess dreaming of a erm..friend of a friend who happens to be dating a pilot - and I must say - if this dream is anything to go by she is mighty fine - but the problem is - when sleeping, dreaming about doing all manner of erm sordid things and numb from the affects of alcohol you don't tend to lube up much - so now I find myself red raw and in urgent need of hand cream or some type of vitamin E revitalising ointment or something ---> did the "ponds institute" ever run tests on handcream for cases such as this ? is there a moisturiser that is called "I was drunk, sleeping, dreaming about sleeping with a friend of a friend, and subconsciously wanking over zealously revitalising penis-cream" ? I'm not sure if this has happened to anyone else - but god damn it - i'm sure there'd be a market for this type of stuff! This product could be marketing gold!

AND in honour of my drunken overzealous wanking mishap I give you the lyrics to another drunken over zealous wanking mishap:

Blister in The Sun - Violent Femmes

When I'm out walking I strut my stuff yeah I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite I just might stop to check you out
Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on big hands I know your the one
Body and beats I stain my sheets I don't even know why
My girlfriend she's at the end she is starting to cry
Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on big hands I know your the one...