My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

Someone from school said I should join facebook. I've resisted all of those type of things for what seemed like forever....because there is just too many of them out there!

I will admit on the occasion i've joined up so I can stop getting the damn reminder emails about them - but even that doesn't stop the onslaught!

WAYN/Friends United/Facebook/MySpace/Etfuckingcetera

When does it end? By the time I try and come up some bullshit profile for them all and track down all of my "friends" who also have multiple accounts - will I ever get any time to actually talk to my "friends" ? besides - if they were still close friends of mine - do i even need to be talking to them over 15 million fucking websites? Shouldn't the fuckers be sitting next to me watching tv on the lounge?

Sorry...long day.

Dinner was fantastic tonight...tuna, broccoli, cracked pepper, lime juice lightly baked.

I really should eat more fish.

Ok, not being one to dwell on celebrities crashing and burning usually - but how hilarious did Britney Spears look @ the MTV awards? It was like she accidentally stumbled on stage and just sort of moved through the motions for fear of embarrassingly being in the wrong spot at the wrong time.

Although, truth be told, she still dances better than I do - although in my defense, I've never exactly tried dancing on stage, well, except for that one time at the school assembly but that's a story for another day.

Flying into Sydney tonight I was thinking about how small it really is... I read somewhere once that until you can get a decent steak in Sydney at 3am then it is not really the "international" city it claims to be. This was the type of description that I used to agree with, but on reflection, I know you can get a decent steak at 3am in Des Moines, IA - but you could hardly class it as an international city.

I'm happy at the moment knowing that I can get a steak here at 3am, it may not be decent, but still, a steak none the less - besides, chicken is a far better meat anyway.

The Doctor tried the old, asking the patient trick for his diagnosis on me today:


Doctor: "What the hell is that rash exactly?"
Me: "That's why I'm here - if I knew, I'd not be here - you tell me!"
Doctor: "It's not any type of infectious disease or anything. No indications of any type of bite. It looks like an allergy of some type - I'll prescribe steroids and we'll try and hit it with that. If it comes back - we'll have to run some skin allergy tests and find the root cause of it, if not, we'll just take it as a one-off. It is a one-off right?"
Me: "yup."

Things I have learnt this weekend:

1. Never hit on a Philippino girl:
Philippino girl 1: "I'm 17...."
Phillippino girl 2: "I'm 24.."
Phillippino girl 3: "I'm 34..."
Phillippino girl 4: "I'm actually a guy..."

It's pot luck as to what any of them are.

2. Never drink coffee from Manly - anywhere in Manly, AT ALL...EVER!

3. When you have a rash you should chew your finger nails off to the skin so you cannot scratch yourself.

4. Summer weather only lasts for so long out season...and when the cold comes back it's a bitch that is about as subtle as a sledge hammer.

5. Reading random medical websites about rashes makes you realise that the symptoms of HIV, Herpes, and an allergy to washing powder are all the exact same symptoms.

6. No matter what ringtone I have on my phone I eventually want to throw the phone everytime I hear it ring.

I've seen my first Volvo C30 spinning 'round the streets of Manly today. God damn it's cool looking head-turning car. It was silver with the dark blue sports pack.

I've been looking through the specifications of the cheap-arse baseline edition and the middle of the road edition, unforunately or fortunately whichever way you want to look at it, by the time I get the cheap-arse edition and add in what I wanted, it actually works out cheaper to get the middle of the road edition, hence, i will now be going for middle of the road - this also has the benefit of me moving the time forward to get it sooner rather than later.

Finance is now my only hurdle - to novated lease or not to novated lease, that is the question.

^ As you can tell, I'm so excited about it all I have lost all ability to string a coherent sentence together that is grammatically correct.

I've got this rash on my arm, and a few other places, at the moment that sort of came out of nowhere. I cannot for the life of me work out what the catalyst for it was. I haven't changed soaps, or detergents, or anything...unless it was that new shirt I wore the other day, however, I had at least washed it before wearing first.

Today I went into the chemist and the conversation was like:

"I'd like some canesten cream"
"Why?"
"Because it's the only brandname cream I know of by name"
"Who for?"
"Me"
"Where's your rash?"
*Adam shows random chemist chick his rash on his arm, too modest, albeit only just, to show the random rash in other areas"
"How about we go with a broad spectrum cream that covers both fungal and other rashes?"
"Sounds good.."
"AND, *wink wink*, I'll give you this antihistamine that is four (4) times stronger than over the counter medications - it'll fix your rash right up"
"ummm...ok...but do I really need all of this?"
"Hell - why not - the more stuff you can whack into you the better - then you can stop scratching like a madman"
"Sounds good - sign me up"
*she winks again*

I have no idea what type of rash she thinks I have - but there was a lot of winking going on in that conversation. I'll say one thing for certain, she was the hottest chemist I've ever seen. It would be like a match made in heaven - smart, hot, and she can prescribe drugs for random rashes...it's win-win-win!