My Manifesto: The Incoherent Ramblings of a Madman

The conversation today word-for-word:

BT: Adam, you know these design changes you're being forced to impose on me from those who shall remain nameless aren't right - correct?

Me: Yes.

BT: I know these design changes aren't right - correct?

Me: Yes.

BT: So, let's talk this through a bit and come up with a compromise that is slightly less expensive than the original and will still work. I'll throw this piece of paper out and pretend it never happened. Ok?

Me: I couldn't agree more.

BT is a genius. I'm glad that he has enough faith in me to see through the processes that let us all down. This was the greatest compliment I have recieved for a long time.

Talks under way to replace Iraq PM - Associated Press

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Major partners in in Iraq's governing coalition are in behind-the-scenes talks to oust Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki amid discontent over his failure to quell raging violence, according to lawmakers involved.

Ah...American democracy at it's finest. Fiji was recently kicked out of the commonwealth (like that really matters anyway) due to the prime minister being overthrown. Does that mean we are to kick America out of the UN? or NATO? or WTO? It's not like it is a country to listen to other opinions anyway and without it practicing what it preaches - is there any use in any of the above even existing?

I somehow found myself leading a group of emo-kids walking through the mall. It was a strange feeling to be leading such a sad sorry group of people. There i was walking along minding my own business when either side of me I suddenly realise are two (2) girls. Besides them two (2) more and so on. With me walking along slightly in front none the wiser to how in the hell i managed to pick up my harem of black haired white skin followers.

It reminds me of the time I accidentally lead a female rights at work march when innocently walking through the mall at Newcastle then suddenly realising I had 10,000 people walking behind me with placards. I made the newspaper and everything that day!

I'm just a freaking pied piper and I have no idea how.

You know it's off-ratings season when we're bombarded with tv shows that are touted as:

"it's Australia's favourite reality dance show!" which coincidentally happens to be American and the only reality dance show currently in existence for viewing over here....or:

"Over 2 million Americans tune in each week to watch....", which for all accounts, sounds impressive in a country like Australia with our meager 20 million people- hell we're stoked if we manage to get 1 million people watching a show but for a country of 300 million like America? a pitiful 2 million just isn't going to cut it...

Then they come out with the "best of the worst of the best of the worlds worst drivers 23" and "the best police chases you haven't seen in all of the other police chase tv shows because these only happened in the past two years and you were too busy watching badly voice-overed police chase shows with your head in a fucking bucket of water instead of reading a newspaper or watching the news you backward monkey!"

Or the lists! the fucking lists! All of those shows where they show shite counting down to something that no one gives a fuck about anyway: "The best movies of the year as voted by the catholic women's league" "the best movies of the year as voted by the readers of the TV program who were literate enough to actually read the entry details" "The best movies of the year as voted by has-been and never-was actors" "the best nude scene in a foreign porn movie of the year as voted by the customs officials"

The best damn thing on TV at the moment is the security camera for the front of my building! Some Asian girl with a nice set of breasts is bending over to press the buzzer....besides that I'm relegated to watching swimming, car racing, some 1940's silent movie, or my washing machine spin around and around and around and around around and around and around and around...

Thanks to the wonders of reality TV I am now a critic of the following:

- boxing;
- dancing;
- singing;
- ice skating;
- weight loss protocol;
- and boring drunken conversations happening between a group of extroverts who have very little insightful things to add to the world.

Sure, I know nothing about dancing, boxing, singing, ice skating or drunken conversations between extroverts, but none the less, this does not stop me from having an opinion nor does it stop me from having the power to shape the world of TV by voting for only a mere $20/second phone conversation with a computer.

God bless TV and all of it's treasures.